Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.49 - Nothin from Nothin

Maria Sharapova!

Beta Pi:

NOTHIN FROM NOTHIN: . . . Leaves nothin! As the old song goes. I have nothing worth writing about today - other than I saw J.D. at the Commodores vs. Ole Miss game, the Dores smashed Ole Miss, and that was sweet poetic justice (Ann and I were witnesses to Ole Miss’ Homecoming Game last year against Vandy, and suffice it to say it "weren’t pretty"), but I did see a really good movie.

MOVIE REVIEWS FROM THE ATO NETHERWORLD

: 3:10 TO YUMA. B B B B This movie, directed by James Mangold, is a remake of a 1957 film with the same title, which starred Glenn Ford as the bad guy, and Van Heflin as the rancher who escorts him to justice. Russell Crowe stars as Ben Wade, a smart and ruthless gunfighter who leads a band of cut-throats in train robberies. Ben commands the gang, but his second in command, Ben Foster (played by Charlie Prince) is just as ruthless, and sadistic to boot. The rancher, Dan Evans (played by Christian Bale) signs on as a hired gun to guard Ben Wade and deliver him to the train station to catch the 3:10 p.m. train to Yuma, to face justice. Although he signed on because he needed money - his ranch was near foreclosure - he was the only gun brave enough to carry Ben Wade to station. Almost the entire town of Yuma responded to an offer by the sadistic Mr. Foster "$200 cash, guaranteed" to the man who shoots dead the deputies escorting Ben Wade. Dan Evans runs this gauntlet to show his teenage son what courage means. This is quite dramatic, because Ben Wade respects this, and essentially helps Dan Evans get him to the train. The last scene, which I will not spoil for you, is hands down the most spectacular western shootout ever filmed. This movie, while not as good as my all-time-favorite western, The Unforgiven, is nevertheless one of the best westerns ever made - I plan to buy the DVD. I give this film the highest Netherworld rating - four B B B B ’s.

BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: The Tick-a-lor Blog roster stands at 83 Beta Pi brothers, 70 of whom have e-mail addresses. To blow this horn, we need more Tick-a-lo e-addresses. Get down to it, my brothers, and get them to me.

Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is:

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons

Beta Pi, ‘72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.48 - Class-o-77 * 30th Update

HOMO ERECTUS

Beta Pi:

CLASS-O-77 30th UPDATE: After pounding out several e-mails, I have some Reunion/Homecoming news:

BROTHER STEVEN STARR SETS "ODDS ON VINNY" AT 1 IN 6.66: I got this word from Brother Vinny Starr starr2456@comcast.net . In the world of gamblers, the number 666 means "good luck" - otherwise, it is universally recognized as "The Mark of The Beast":

"Lar:

At this point, knowing myself pretty well, and being a Vegas man, I would put the percentages of me attending Homecoming this year at about 15%. So it is possible, and I would like to, but I have a lot going on in October that makes it difficult. But there is still hope."

BROTHER VAN SAYLER UPDATE ON SMOOTY AND M-LINK: I e-mailed Van Sayler van.sayler@raymondjames.com to see what he learned from Bob Smoot RSmoot358@aol.com . Van reports as follows:

"I just talked to him. He wants to come but may have a conflict. I don’t have a good phone number for George Ford.

Van"

M-LINK UPDATE: Several weeks ago, I spoke with George Ford, a.k.a. M-LINK georgef@leedscustomdesign.com . George is doing well, but I got no commitment on Reunion. I put in a call, but have yet to hear back from the MIGHTY-LINK! In honor of LINK, I am posting a scientific photo I obtained showing the computer-generated composite of Homo-Erectus, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

BROTHER MARK McGANN UPDATE: I e-mailed Mark McGann markmcgann@prodigy.net , and suggested he call some guys and beat the drums, to drum up attendance. Here is the help I got from Marlon (notice how Marlon weaseled-out of making any calls, by referencing what he had "heard":

"Sure but I thought you said Van was on the case. Smoot already said he was going. I had heard that George Ford was planning to attend but that may have changed since Candy McCall is attending because I know that he really does not want to see her. Bill Price I suspect may be understandably otherwise occupied. Why are you so interested anyway??"

RESPONSE TO MARLON: Duh!

BROTHER BILL PRICE UPDATE: I spoke with Brother Bill wprice@wpricepa.com , and was really inspired. Some of you may not know, but four months ago Bill lost his wife of 25 years to cancer. Bill is working through the grieving process, and is taking care of himself and his daughter. He will be unable to attend Reunion, because he has committed to participating in a grief seminar with his daughter. Bill’s faith in Jesus Christ is sustaining him, and he appreciates all of the prayers. He and Brother Mark Hektner hektnem@nationwide.com attend a weekly prayer luncheon together. Bill, we’ll miss you, and we keep you in our prayers. This is a good time to remind everyone - Christianity is at the very foundation of ATO. Say a prayer for Bill.

Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is:

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons
Beta Pi, ‘72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.47 - Marlon Noir to Attend 30th Reunion

Beta Pi:

MARLON NOIR, BLOG REPORTER TO ATTEND 30th REUNION.

Featuring Blog Reporter Marlon Noir

It was drizzling rain . . . on my window pane. Its my town, its wet, but my finger is on the pulse. Its 1:15 a.m. - and its Sominex time - can’t sleep. . .

"Dollface, didn’t I tell you to get some Dr. Scholl’s Odor-Eaters for those Black Stiletto Pumps you wear? And baby - your toes feel like ice-cubes - - what’d you do, get a pedicure at the North Pole?"

"But Sugar . . ." I’d had all a man could stomach . . .

"Dollpuss - beat it - go get me a pack of Tiparillos and a 12-pack of PBR - and, hey -

You see that crumpled pack of camels in the litter box, throw it to me on your way out . . .

"And baby-doll, you really ought to pick up some more SlimFast - your back side is looking a little too well-fed!"

After it seemed like forever, she dabbed on a bit of SugarBaby Perfume, and slammed the door.

Solitude! Now, to crack my knuckles . . . my damn typewriter is begging me to write. Its this damn 30-year Reunion at Vandenberg. Here is the known line-up and a hint of what to expect:

* I, Marlon Noir, markmcgann@prodigy.net will deliver an original soliloquy entitled "Reflections on a Miraculously Great Life Above Ground - or, Sheer Luck of the Draw: Death is but a Mistress Who Kissed and Spared Me."

* Bob Smoot

, a.k.a. Smooty, a.k.a. Smooth T rsmoot358@aol.com is a known quantity. Smootingham will wax eloquent on days-o-yore, as only he can, and his seminar bears the title:

"The Easy-Rider Philosophy: Get Your Motor Runnin’ and Follow Dennis Hopper to the Retirement of Your Dreams!"

* Frank J. Biller

, a.k.a. Buck, a.k.a. Mr. Commitment fbiller1@msn.com has vowed to show up to be with Marlon, and promises to fly in Saturday night.

* Van Sayler, a.k.a. Popeye Van Sailor Man, van.sayler@raymondjames.com will present a mini-seminar entitled: "Less is More - My Experience as Tick-a-lor Class of 1977 Point-Man!

* Steve Cummings a.k.a. Scumming-she-said-scumming!, scummings@Crossroads.com will speak on the topic: "Creativity in Internet E-Mail Names - How I Trademarked the E-moniker Scummings Without Running Afoul of FCC Regulations"

* Larry Simons, a.k.a. Bozo Lorenzo Lasimons4law@aol.com will deliver a seminar entitled "Creative Charitable Giving at Vanderbilt Reunion: Existential Dilemma or Tough-Love Primer on JUST SAY NO, The World’s Most Effective 3-word Scholium!"

These Camels are sooo good, you know . . . its almost like LIFE is good! - I just smoke ‘em right down and get scorch-lipped! Can’t pull my hands away from this damn typewriter. . .

(Knock on the door) "Hey, Sugar! How’s my little Shakespear?"

"Dollface, what took you so long? I’ve got a back-ache. Why don’t you slip into those Black Stiletto Pumps and walk on my back?

But first, get me a PBR and put my favorite movie in the DVD - Chinatown - I need some "Jake Gittes" to soothe my nerves - I have a 30th Reunion to attend in 6 weeks!

Ah, that’s good - real good baby . . . a little lower . . . that’s it!

"But Marlon!

"Shut-up Dollface, just keep walkin’ - low-back, Dollface, low back

TUNE IN FOR FUTURE EPISODES OF MARLON NOIR, BLOG REPORTER!

Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is:

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons
Beta Pi, ‘72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.46 - Steven "VJ Whipsnade" Starr

Beta Pi:

FROM STEVEN "VJ WHIPSNADE" STARR: I suppose Vinny Starr is beginning to feel a sense of guilt that he has not planned to attend the upcoming Class of 1977 Reunion, because he sent me this letter yesterday, in which he references a seminar I planned in honor of Buck Biller committing, then backing out of attending Reunion this October - when he absolutely swore he would attend if Marlon attends. Marlon is, in fact, going to attend. Here is the excellent letter from the poison pen of Whipsnade . . .

"Dear Professor Simons:

I would like to know if there are any slots open for your newly created seminar as titled below, I believe you are holding the seminar in Furman Hall, on loan from Vanderbilt, with the permission of Professor Charles E. Scott.

The seminar name, as you indicated in your communication to me is:

"The Inability To Follow Through With Commitments and Obligations: Peter Pan Complex Or The Life Story of Frank Biller -- You Decide"

If there is room I'd like to sign up.

Anticipating your positive response, I remain,

Very truly yours,

Steven "VJ Whipsnade" Starr

Class of ought-nine"

MY RESPONSE TO V.J. WHIPSNADE: Apart from your letter, there has been a pronounced lack of interest in the fact that Buck gave an oath, then backed out on his express intention to attend Reunion ‘07 to see Brother Marlon. Nevertheless, Buck told me his conflict is on Friday of Reunion weekend, and he still plans to make an appearance on Saturday, and Buck asked me not to "lose faith" in him. You must remember that apart from you, Buck is my absolute best friend on the planet. Therefore, I cannot, in good conscience present the Seminar prior to Sunday morning. However, if Buck is a no-show on Saturday, I plan to appear in front of Furman Hall Sunday morning at 11:00 a.m., where my seminar will be duly presented. I am quite certain Brother Marlon will be there, because he’ll be staying at my house.

LINK CITY & FIREWORKS DEPO: Heads up - here is the link (which you can copy and paste to your browser). Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is: http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons
Beta Pi, ‘72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.46 - Thanks to the Rat-Man

Beta Pi:

THANKS TO THE RAT-MAN!: I was sifting through some old papers in my desk (yes, career boredom creeps in from time-to-time, especially on Friday evening) and I ran across a letter I received from Marc "The Rat" Darling

mldarling@comcast.net

, dated August 3, 2006 - a letter I received in response to my letter (sent to a few brothers, leads given to me by Matt Hart). The letter has never been published on the blog, and after re-reading it, I realized it must be published. Because it has historical significance - it contains valuable Tick-a-lor knowledge which belongs in "the annals" - and it is from a master word-smith. It reminded me that we truly do inspire one another, just as in days-of-yore. Thank you, Marc - hat’s off to you old friend!

LINK CITY: Heads up - here is the link (which you can copy and paste to your browser). Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is:

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons

Beta Pi, ‘72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.45 - Fotch Lives!

Beta Pi:

FOTCH LIVES!: I thought that Doug Campbell

dougcampbellsr@comcast.net had been so covered up by his law practice that it had turned him into a work-a-holic (it takes one to know one, and I am one). Well, today, I got word from Frank Collins collinzes@aol.com

that he might be moving from Connecticut to Chattanooga, Tennessee! So, I made the mistake of assuming that Fotch was too old to know Marty - wrong, wrong, wrong! I get this great call from Fotch that leads off "You M_ _ _ X!%!&*Q!*!, how dare you think I’m as old as Mansfield (e-mail unknown)? Of course I know who Frank Collins is!"

THE BOB "ARMS" AYLWARD CONNECTION: So, Fotch goes on to tell me how small the known universe really is: it turns out that Fotch and Arms

baylward@seattlemariners.com

both have boys enrolled at Clairmore College, in Pomona, California! Small world, indeed.

Clarksdale / Blues News: The Sunflower Blues Festival was awesome, even though it was hot as hades (up to 110 degrees F). Ann and I had our "open house" for our apartment, which was well-attended. This paves the way for BYOG, and gives us yet another place to hang out at "The Crossroads." By the way, Frank & Mary Collins are on the "possible" list! Slated to attend, to date, are Matt

mattsb@aol.com & Mimi Blankenship, Pierce phodnette@eufaula.rr.com & Cindy Hodnette, Jack jack@willcoxlaw.com

& Trudy Muench, and Larry & Ann Simons. The train is coming, better get on board!

Heads up - here is the link (which you can copy and paste to your browser). Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,


Larry Simons

Beta Pi,‘72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.44 - Happy Anniversary #1

Beta Pi:

Happy Anniversary #1: Whoever said "time flies when you’re having fun" was right-on! It has been big fun to write this blog (drivel), which is now one-year-old. So, Happy Anniversary, Beta Pi Blog! Sentiment does have a place and a time. To celebrate, I’ll make a few observations:

BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: The Tick-a-lor Blog roster now contains 83 Beta Pi brothers, 70 of whom have e-mail addresses. To brothers who have provided a lead here and there, thanks-a-million! Growth in the roster is attributable to you. It has been fun for me calling guys on the telephone, after all these years. There have been some disappointments, the occasional dead-end, or wrong number, or bad e-mail address, or un-returned call - but didn’t someone once say "Nothing ventured . . . ?"

Techno-blurb-ology: As some of you know, the blog is "e-mailed" to you (usually with 1 photo attached) when it is published to the internet. Many brothers have used the "link" provided in the e-mail to actually go visit the Beta Pi Blog website. The site contains much more than the e-mail - the site has loads-o-photo’s, comments from brothers, links to humorous sites, and "The Archives" (which has become the de facto "annals") in which you can find all past editions (there were 70 editions in 2006, and 44 so far this year). There are comments which contain important historical tick-a-lor trivia! Several brothers have signed up for "user names" and used the feature which allows you to post a comment directly to the blog. Many of you have sent e-mails, and I usually post these for fun. (I have talked with a few brothers who thought the e-mail was all there was to it - or were too over-worked / lazy to click on the link to the blog web site. Oh well, you can lead a horse . . .)

Special Features: We have had "Guest Blogmiesters" write the blog, music reviews, poetry, movie reviews, blog drama "Marlon Noir, Blog Reporter" - but the banter you guys engage in is my favorite part of the blog - it nourishes some part of my garden that has gone un-watered since graduation. Sometimes, just looking at Alex’s picture reminds me how much love we all shared. Other times, just looking at George Ford’s (M-Link’s) picture is so amusing, its like an oil can lubricating the machinery of memory! ILARAMATOB

Clarksdale / Blues News: This weekend is the Sunflower Blues Festival. Ann and I will be there, and we are also having an "open house" to christen "the blues apartment" we built in the back of 149 Delta Avenue (which we closed on a year ago). Here is the e-invitation that went out today - and if you’re in the neighborhood, consider yourself invited:

149 DELTA AVENUE

(side entrance)

Larry and Ann's new digs

OPEN HOUSE

Take a break from the heat, And stop by for a treat!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

3:00p.m. - 6:00p.m.

Larry and Ann Polk Simons

Heads up - here is the link (which you can copy and paste to your browser). Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons

Beta Pi, ‘72