Beta Pi:IS "BETA PI BLOG" JUNK E-MAIL?: Yes, and no! It is not this e-mail. This e-mail contains some written content of the "Beta Pi Blog", not the entire content. The "blog" is actually a web-site, it includes
pictures, links, 
Archives of previous 
issues, and other time-wasters. To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com/ . . .MAY DAY, MAY DAY!
As you know, I love war movies. I love scenes like the one in
Apocalypse Now, when the chopper takes ground fire, and the Pilot says:"May Day, May Day! My tail rotor’s hit - I’ve got control - I’m going down!"
Valor under fire.
Thank God most of us didn’t have to endure combat. However, metaphorically speaking, those of us who knew and co-existed with the Class of 1974, experienced a certain
"verbal combat." 
Usually it was good spirited verbal jousting, for which the epicenter was "none-other-than" 
Matthew J. Hart matthewjhart@yahoo.com 
a.k.a. The Abominable 
Doctor Phibes.The epithets were fast and furious, and most Brothers let them roll off their shoulder, like rain drops roll off of a rain coat.
One of my favorite movies, based on David Mamet’s Pulitzer Prize winning play "Glengarry, GlenRoss" comes to mind - because the character played by Alec Baldwin reminds me so much of 
Matt Hart.In this scene, the real estate salesmen (played by Jack Lemon, Alan Arkin and Ed Harris) are being lectured on sales technique by Alec Baldwin, whom the company has brought in because the sales force is seriously underperforming.
Alec Baldwin announces a sales contest,
"Gentlemen . . . first prize . . . is a brand new Cadillac DeVille. . .
Second prize . . . is this lovely set of Steak Knives . . .
Third prize . . . you’re fired."
* * * *
Gentlemen,
Brother Steven B. Starr starr2456@comcast.net has devised a CONTEST to bring back those 
Matt Hart memories . . . Its called . . .THE "FIND A JOB FOR PHIBES" CONTEST:
By Steven B. Starr
Here is how my contest works. Several months ago, well before the economy tanked, Matt Hart left as CEO of Hilton in a blaze of glory, when Hilton was acquired in a take over. Matt noted at the time:
"Former president, now between assignments. Was removed in Blackstone acquisition of Hilton Hotels. Excellent financial result for Shareholders and former president, but first time I have not had a job since 1966. . ."
43 years! Matt needs a job, and I, Vinny Starr, have devised this contest - out of the kindness of my heart. Here are the contest rules:
1. To submit an entry, send an e-mail to the Blog at Lasimons4law@aol.com , with "Contest Entry" in the subject line. All Entries will be posted in the Comments Section of this Issue of the Blog.
2. Your entry must be 100 words or less.
3. Your entry must name a JOB TITLE which you propose for Doctor Phibes. Your entry must justify it, i.e., state why your proposed job title is the best job for Doctor Phibes.
4. No profanity. Innuendo is acceptable. We are gentlemen. Blog editorial staff reserves right to edit entries.
5. In your entry, you must identify yourself by name, Class, and e-mail address. No anonymous entries accepted.
6. Entries must be received by May 7, 2009.
7. The
Three Stooges will be the Official Contest Judges, Steven B. Starr, presiding. The winning entry will be announced in the next Blog.The Prize: The Winner will buy dinner for Doctor Phibes at next Reunion (after all, Phibes is unemployed).
* * * *
LOVE-MAN TO ATTEND REUNION ‘09:
Tom Lovinggood tlovinggood@comcast.net , that ramblin’ 
gamblin’ 
Love-Man, has informed that he and his wife Marla will be attending the Reunion! I have arranged for Vinny to bring his Slot Machine, so Love-Man will have a one-armed-bandit handy to yank on.PIERCE "THE WIMP" HODNETTE TO ATTEND REUNION ‘09:
Pierce phodnette@eufaula.rr.com called a 
few 
days ago - 
he and his lovely wife Cindy will be attending Reunion. I’m hoping Cindy brings her camera - she is an awesome photographer!COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS: Blog Vol.2009, No.07 broke the record for number of comments - 33 Comments! CHECK OUT THE "COMMENTS" - BETTER YET POST A COMMENT. (The "button" - as Buck likes to call it, is at the bottom of the "page", it is very small - it is small red letters "Comments" - just below "VTL, . .") Call me and I’ll walk you through it - 615-512-1448. Too lazy? Send me an e-mail and I’ll post your comment.
BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: As of April 30, 2009, the Blog roster stands at 95 Beta Pi brothers, 87 Tick-a-lo men online who have e-mail addresses, and 8 ATO Girlfriends-o-Yore. If you have an e-mail address on a Brother, or sister - blog about it!
VTL,
Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72
16 comments:
E-COMMENT FROM MATT HART, April 30, 2009:
"What a wonderful idea. Thank you Vinnie. If any special perquisites arise as a result of this endeavor I will surely share with you."
CONTEST ENTRY FROM J. NEAL CRENSHAW, April 30, 2009:
GYNECOLOGIST IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC
"Matt/Larry:
Are there any limitations?
Matt's not interested in being a gyneocologist in the Central African Republic is he? Or, a sidewalk marital aids vendor in NYC?
Matt: How far outta da box you wanna go?
Neal"
ENTRY #2 FROM J. NEAL CRENSHAW, May 1, 2009:
GENERAL MANAGER, WOMENS' FINISHING SCHOOL OF UDAN THANI
"I was just curious...
The Women's Finishing School of Udon Thani is looking for a GM. It is a small school, just starting out.
But, the perqs are good."
COMMENT FROM HOWIE VOGEL, May 1, 2009:
"Tsunami days off.................."
A job opportunity has just opened up in Washington, D.C. I think Matt would be just right. But we, as fellow ATO's would have to rally behind our man and get creative in his aid.
I like the sound of it already: Justice Matthew J. Hart
(You do not have to be a lawyer to be on the Supreme Court)
The way I see it, our biggest problem is overcoming the Senate confirmation hearings relating to the stolen Vanderbilt Athenian Sing trophy. That could be the smoking gun. We'll all have to think creatively about how to overcome this issue. For a start, I suggest we get the Heme and Miles Walsh out of the country for a few months, incommunicado. They know too much. A nice little vacation in Borneo would seem to be the ticket.
Any other thoughts? Any other issues that could be a problem? We need to work together on this. All I want out of this for myself is for Matt to invite me to a cocktail party with Justice Scalia. That's all.
Vinnie
E-COMMENT FROM GEORGE TOMLINSON, May 2, 2009:
"Yo Vinnie, Miles and I do have some important knowledge ( by the way….Borneo sounds good). I will gladly take the wrap for my ‘tic’ brothers and do the torture again (as in “HELL WEEK”). For my Brothers………The Heme
George Tomlinson"
There are a couple other matters of damage control that are required. There is the matter of certain super-8 home movie footage, showing the party in question engaged in home invasion, or at least trespassing, and subsequently swimming naked in the absent homeowner's pool. How to verify that all copies of that footage is accounted for and/or destroyed? I also have heard credible evidence that hidden microphone recordings of Shipwreck Blues lyrics are extant. Are those of sufficiently good quality to allow voiceprint identification of the participants?
CONTEST ENTRY FROM PIERCE HODNETTE, May 3, 2009:
THE SHAM-WOW GUY!
"The Sham-Wow guy was recently arrested for beating up a hooker. Mr. Hart would be an excellent replacement. We all know that he can be very persuasive, even forceful, in getting others to do his bidding. Although he is not as young or slim as the erstwhile pitchman, Matt has maturity and
gravitas. The product itself is excellent, it's made in Germany, and you know they make good stuff there. The pay will be similar to his former Hilton gig and if Sham-Wow goes public, he will surely have lots of stock options.
Pierce Hodnette"
FROM OUT OF THE WOODWORK OF DAYS OF YORE, COMES . . .
A CONTEST ENTRY FROM MIKE McCARTY, May 4, 2009:
U.S. MANAGING DIRECTOR OF CORRUPTION CLEANUP
"All:
I do believe I have the perfect job for Mr. Hart and it is one of critical need for our country. It combines all the elements from his days at ATO thru Marriott, Disney and finally Hilton. Doctor Phibes is truly a unique candidate and therefore only an extraordinary position would be suitable (no reference to the Thin Man intended). The Title would be: U.S. Managing Director of Corruption Cleanup (need a big shovel as a job requirement since the problems are stacked pretty high) and he would report directly to President Obama.
The attached list absolves him of any taint by school background or degree:
Magna Cum Fraud: Top Schools for Scoundrels
Many of the major players involved in the financial crisis went to the same few elite schools, notes Joe Weisenthal in Business Insider.
New York University: Ex-Lehman CEO Dick Fuld, ex-Lehman CFO Erin Callan, Rep. Charlie Rangel, investor Carl Icahn, former Fed boss Alan Greenspan. Grade: D-
Dartmouth College: Treasury chief Tim Geithner, ex-Treasury chief Henry Paulson, ex-AOL CEO Ron Grant. B
MIT: Ex-Merrill CEO John Thain, Fed boss Ben Bernanke, Obama adviser Larry Summers, Ex-HP CEO Carly Fiorina. C
Harvard University: George W. Bush, Henry Paulson, ex-Merrill CEOs John Thain and Stan O’Neal, GM boss Rick Wagoner, Rep. Barney Frank, Enron’s Jeff Skilling. F+
Between 2002 and 2008, the Department of Justice obtained nearly 1,300 corporate fraud convictions. This included 200 chief executive officers and corporate presidents, more than 120 corporate vice presidents and more than 50 chief financial officers, according to Report to the President, Corporate Fraud Task Force 2008. So that leaves almost no person with experience left to continue on in this valiant effort other than our Doctor Phibes. Of course to get appointed all the members of this blog will be required to commit perjury in the same line as the previous postings for that certain Justice opening once again. We will need to totally suppress Matt’s Nashville antics for his entire four years. If we all agree then hats off to our new Mr. Clean and may he succeed where others have failed.
I therefore submit that we offer up our jobless Doctor Phibes to President Obama and sit back and enjoy the confirmation hearings. I would call him “Lucky” Doctor Phibes if successful in his hearings but I have a certain attachment to the name Lucky as the last picture (copied below) of my favorite dog “Lucky” will show.
MICK MCARTY A&S ‘73"
NOTE TO MIKE McCARTY:
Mike:
I posted your entry (sans dog picture) - very funny! We may need to seek an exception to the 100 words rule at judging time.
Larry
FROM MIKE McCARTY:
"No reason to bend the rules for me. I do it only for the greater good. Hats off to you for setting up the blog. Sorry about the picture, I am sure it violates any family content standards but you gotta love it. Brings new meaning to the old Clint Eastwood quote "well punk do you feel LUCKY!"
In Nashville Thursday and Friday for our son Matt's graduation from Vandy so pray for good sunny weather.
Cleve"
TO MIKE: We sure missed you at Reunion '08. Many Greats were in attendance, and a toast was raised in your honor. Congrats on your son Matt's graduation! I know you'll be very busy - but if you have time to meet for a beer or a coffee, I'd love to see you! I'm only 5 minutes from campus. Call me, my cell is 615-512-1448.
Larry
CONTEST ENTRY #1 FROM BOZINO:
Proctologist in Pretoria.
Justification: Matt has always been a "bottom" line guy. Matt has intellectual curiosity, he is "probing."
CONTEST ENTRY #2 FROM BOZINO:
Flavored Condom Taste-tester.
Justification: In college, Matt was fond of the phrase "you Suck." This job will allow Matt to put his mouth to work in that fashion.
CONTEST ENTRY #3 FROM BOZINO:
Mam-o-gram Machine Operator in the Amazon.
Justification: Matt has a high degree of manual dexterity, he is a "hands-on" kind of guy.
CONTEST ENTRY #4 FROM BOZINO:
Automotive Upholstery Flatulence Detector in Detroit.
Justification: Matt has a keen sense of smell, and knows when to sniff.
VINNY DISCOVERS ZOMBIE IN THAILAND, June 4, 2009:
"Hey Neal:
It's Vinnie. Say I just wanted to let you know something. I just had a visit from an alumni development person from Vanderbilt yesterday (looking for money, of course) and she left me with a complete listing of the class of '75. I came across your name and it was listed as "Deceased"! I just thought I'd let you know, since for all I know you (1) want it that way, (2) know about it but don't care, or (3) don't know about it and still don't care. Anyway, since you're in Thailand I'll be glad to let them know you're NOT deceased, but only if you want me to. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know in case you may have other aquaintances from Vanderbilt that might think you're a goner if they see this list. You decide!
Best regards,
Vinnie"
EDITORIAL COMMENT: I noticed this a few years ago, and informed Neal. Neal was unconcerned. Apparently, it is true - Neal encountered a VooDoo tribe in his exotic travels, and the witch-doctor blew some pixie-dust in Neal's face, causing him to turn into a Zombie. To those of us who remember Neal's behavior in the 70's, there is very little difference between Zombie behavior and Yellow-car behavior, which explains why Neal is unconcerned.
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