Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2009, No.11 - May Day, May Day!

Beta Pi:


IS "BETA PI BLOG" JUNK E-MAIL?: Yes, and no! It is not this e-mail. This e-mail contains some written content of the "Beta Pi Blog", not the entire content. The "blog" is actually a web-site, it includes pictures, links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters. To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com/ . . .



MAY DAY, MAY DAY!

As you know, I love war movies. I love scenes like the one in Apocalypse Now, when the chopper takes ground fire, and the Pilot says:


"May Day, May Day! My tail rotor’s hit - I’ve got control - I’m going down!"


Valor under fire.


Thank God most of us didn’t have to endure combat. However, metaphorically speaking, those of us who knew and co-existed with the Class of 1974, experienced a certain "verbal combat." Usually it was good spirited verbal jousting, for which the epicenter was "none-other-than" Matthew J. Hart matthewjhart@yahoo.com a.k.a. The Abominable Doctor Phibes.



The epithets were fast and furious, and most Brothers let them roll off their shoulder, like rain drops roll off of a rain coat.

One of my favorite movies, based on David Mamet’s Pulitzer Prize winning play "Glengarry, GlenRoss" comes to mind - because the character played by Alec Baldwin reminds me so much of Matt Hart.



In this scene, the real estate salesmen (played by Jack Lemon, Alan Arkin and Ed Harris) are being lectured on sales technique by Alec Baldwin, whom the company has brought in because the sales force is seriously underperforming.



Alec Baldwin announces a sales contest,


"Gentlemen . . . first prize . . . is a brand new Cadillac DeVille. . .

Second prize . . . is this lovely set of Steak Knives . . .

Third prize . . . you’re fired."

* * * *


Gentlemen, Brother Steven B. Starr starr2456@comcast.net has devised a CONTEST to bring back those Matt Hart memories . . . Its called . . .




THE "FIND A JOB FOR PHIBES" CONTEST:

By Steven B. Starr

Here is how my contest works. Several months ago, well before the economy tanked, Matt Hart left as CEO of Hilton in a blaze of glory, when Hilton was acquired in a take over. Matt noted at the time:

"Former president, now between assignments. Was removed in Blackstone acquisition of Hilton Hotels. Excellent financial result for Shareholders and former president, but first time I have not had a job since 1966. . ."

43 years! Matt needs a job, and I, Vinny Starr, have devised this contest - out of the kindness of my heart. Here are the contest rules:

1. To submit an entry, send an e-mail to the Blog at Lasimons4law@aol.com , with "Contest Entry" in the subject line. All Entries will be posted in the Comments Section of this Issue of the Blog.

2. Your entry must be 100 words or less.

3. Your entry must name a JOB TITLE which you propose for Doctor Phibes. Your entry must justify it, i.e., state why your proposed job title is the best job for Doctor Phibes.

4. No profanity. Innuendo is acceptable. We are gentlemen. Blog editorial staff reserves right to edit entries.

5. In your entry, you must identify yourself by name, Class, and e-mail address. No anonymous entries accepted.

6. Entries must be received by May 7, 2009.

7. The Three Stooges will be the Official Contest Judges, Steven B. Starr, presiding. The winning entry will be announced in the next Blog.


The Prize: The Winner will buy dinner for Doctor Phibes at next Reunion (after all, Phibes is unemployed).


* * * *
LOVE-MAN TO ATTEND REUNION ‘09: Tom Lovinggood tlovinggood@comcast.net , that ramblin’ gamblin’ Love-Man, has informed that he and his wife Marla will be attending the Reunion! I have arranged for Vinny to bring his Slot Machine, so Love-Man will have a one-armed-bandit handy to yank on.


PIERCE "THE WIMP" HODNETTE TO ATTEND REUNION ‘09: Pierce phodnette@eufaula.rr.com called a few days ago - he and his lovely wife Cindy will be attending Reunion. I’m hoping Cindy brings her camera - she is an awesome photographer!

COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS: Blog Vol.2009, No.07 broke the record for number of comments - 33 Comments! CHECK OUT THE "COMMENTS" - BETTER YET POST A COMMENT. (The "button" - as Buck likes to call it, is at the bottom of the "page", it is very small - it is small red letters "Comments" - just below "VTL, . .") Call me and I’ll walk you through it - 615-512-1448. Too lazy? Send me an e-mail and I’ll post your comment.


BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: As of April 30, 2009, the Blog roster stands at 95 Beta Pi brothers, 87 Tick-a-lo men online who have e-mail addresses, and 8 ATO Girlfriends-o-Yore. If you have an e-mail address on a Brother, or sister - blog about it!


VTL,


Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2009, No.10 - Marlon Noir Dreams

Beta Pi:
IS "BETA PI BLOG" JUNK E-MAIL?: Yes, and no! It is not this e-mail. This e-mail contains some written content of the "Beta Pi Blog", not the entire content. The "blog" is actually a web-site, it includes pictures, links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters. To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com/ .

And now, another episode of . . .
MARLON NOIR, BLOG REPORTER. Featuring Blog Reporter Marlon

"It was raining in my city - D.C., home of Big Prez, home of D.C. Comics, my home, it was night time. At least it felt that way in my flat - with my high tech blinds that keep out every drop of sunlight. That’s the way I like it - dark, like my last name.

"What time could it be? Time for my first cigarette, a bottle of Yoohoo, and to get rid of the dame . . .

"Hey Dollface, get lost. I need to log on to the internet - and to Beta Pi Blog - for my news fix. Wiggle your shapely back-side a little as you head for the door, will ya? Where ya headed?"

"Sugar, I’m going to get more air freshener, you really need to cut back on Mexican Carry-outs!

"Finally, she’s gone. . . Lets see what earth-shattering news there is on the internet . . . Hey, this reminds me of Fuad . . .:

TALIBAN EXECUTE COUPLE SEEKING TO ELOPE
KABUL (April 14) - A Taliban firing squad killed a young couple in southwestern Afghanistan for trying to elope, shooting them with AK-47s in front of a crowd in a lawless, militant-controlled region, officials said Tuesday.
The woman, 19-year-old Gul Pecha, and the man, 21-year-old Abdul Aziz, were accused by the militants of immoral acts, and a council of conservative clerics decided that the two should be killed, officials said . . . .

AFGHANS STONE WOMEN PROTESTING SEX LAW
KABUL (April 15) -- A group of some 1,000 Afghans swarmed a demonstration of 300 women protesting against a new conservative marriage law on Wednesday. The women were pelted with small stones as police struggled to keep the two groups apart.
The law, passed last month, says a husband can demand sex with his wife every four days unless she is ill or would be harmed by intercourse - a clause that critics say legalizes marital rape. It also regulates when and for what reasons a wife may leave her home alone . . .

* * *

"You know, this gets me to thinking - there is something about the Afghan lifestyle I like, maybe Marlon Noir should move there (I love referring to myself in the third person, like Bob Dole used to do). . .

(Dollface comes in, spraying Super Lysol)

"Hey Dollface, get this - they stoned 300 women in Afghanistan, just for protesting some law - all it did was put men in charge - what is their problem?

"Marlon Noir, YOU are stoned! - and you are a misogynistic sexist pig! Why shouldn’t those Afghan women have rights?

"Dollface - what’s ‘misogynistic’ mean - Marlon Noir has never heard you talk like this before - what gives?

"Sugar - I’ve been watching Oprah and The View, and after Oprah helped women make up their minds last November, it has occurred to me that times are truly changing. Arrogant, sexist males used to be attractive to me - but now, well Sugar, somehow that just don’t do the trick for me no more, see?

"But Puppy-kins . . .

"Take back the mean things you said about those women who got stoned.

"And if I don’t?

"Then forget about me getting your Camels, your Yoohoo, your Pixie Stix, your PreparationH, your tea bags, and forget about me doing your manicure and pedicure, not to mention . . .

"Enough said, Marlon Noir takes it back, Poopsie-whoopsie. But wouldn’t you just think about moving to Afghanistan with Marlon Noir?

"Marlon!

STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF MARLON NOIR, BLOG REPORTER.

* * * *

COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS: Blog Vol.2009, No.07 broke the record for number of comments - 33 Comments! CHECK OUT THE "COMMENTS" - BETTER YET POST A COMMENT. (The "button" - as Buck likes to call it, is at the bottom of the "page", it is very small - it is small red letters "Comments" - just below "VTL, . .") Call me and I’ll walk you through it - 615-512-1448. Too lazy? Send me an e-mail and I’ll post your comment.

BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: As of April 15, 2009, the Blog roster stands at 95 Beta Pi brothers, 87 Tick-a-lo men online who have e-mail addresses, and 8 ATO Girlfriends-o-Yore. If you have an e-mail address on a Brother, or sister - fugetaboutit!

VTL,

Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2009, No.09 - The Tick-a-lor of Thailand

Beta Pi:
IS "BETA PI BLOG" JUNK E-MAIL?: Yes, and no! It is not this e-mail. This e-mail contains some written content of the "Beta Pi Blog", not the entire content. The "blog" is actually a web-site, it includes pictures, links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters. To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com/ .

Probably, the closest any of us ever got to Thailand was in The Yellow Car, when Fur had Thai Stick, am I right? Wrong.
Our own J. Neal Crenshaw, a.k.a. X-Neal Crenshaw, a.k.a. X.B.G. Neal, lives in Thailand. "X.B.G." stands for "Bronze God" - which is what the local natives call Neal. Neal is a contractor who builds embassies, and he built a jungle palace compound complete with swimming pool, recording studio and motorcycle maintanence facility - in the jungle.

Very cool, no? Neal married a beautiful girl named Poom, and they have an adorable daughter, Lulu.

So, I get this strange set of photos from Neal, edible bugs - some sort of native delicacy.

"Report, Vientienne Bug Market, 30 Mar 09
1. Poom with bat kebab.

2. Lulu inpsects fried silk worm prior to eating.

3. Fried crickets with fried praying mantis garnish.
4. Bug smorgasboard."

Fascinated, and a little repulsed, I interviewed Neal about it:

BLOG: Appetizing?

X.B.G. NEAL: I don't care for 'em much and only eat them after getting suitably lubricated....

Lulu, and, of course Poom, eat all kinds....
Here's a cute one I didn't broadcast... Lulu appears somewhat concerned about the one in her left hand...

Also, about the Tata pics in da blog, as long as not grossly offensive, I appreciate a tasty Tata pic... That said, could you get some Tata pics of REAL women? Such as the attached....

BLOG: I suppose it’s a "real women eat insects" thing? Mercy!

* * * *

TICK-A-LORS CELEBRATE EASTER: Why? Because ATO is a Fraternity explicitly built upon Christian principles. We are Christians. Easter is a celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Happy Easter.

COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS: Blog Vol.2009, No.07 broke the record for number of comments - 33 Comments! CHECK OUT THE "COMMENTS" - BETTER YET POST A COMMENT. (The "button" - as Buck likes to call it, is at the bottom of the "page", it is very small - it is small red letters "Comments" - just below "VTL, . .") Call me and I’ll walk you through it - 615-512-1448. Too lazy? Send me an e-mail and I’ll post your comment.

BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: As of April 10, 2009, the Blog roster stands at 95 Beta Pi brothers, 87 Tick-a-lo men online who have e-mail addresses, and 8 ATO Girlfriends-o-Yore. If you have an e-mail address on a Brother, or sister - deliver it, mister!

VTL,

Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72