Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.50 - Riddle Contest Embroils Blog in Litigation!





Errol Flynn - Master Swashbuckler

Beta Pi:

RIDDLE CONTEST EMBROILS BLOG IN LITIGATION - V.J. WHIPSNADE INVOLVED:

This contest (see below) has generated nearly as much interest as the famed Blog Essay Contest (See Archives, "Vol.2006, No.50 - Winner of Essay Contest Announced.") Certainly - enough content is flying to justify a new Blog Issue. This is wonderful, because the contests featured on the Blog have only one purpose: to spark interest in the Brotherhood. Blog Editors have received the following comments over the last several hours:

** FROM JIMMY GRISSETT, September 18, 2007:

"Drs. Bozo, Art, and Vinnie --

Au contraire, I believe -- per the attached article/link below, the correct answer is Mike Gilbert, his former licensing agent, in 1997 -- vs. 1999 for Fred Goldman and his auction to Tom "Juice" Kressman. Of course, we may have to construe what you meant by "get" the Heisman trophy, and knowing of Art's formidable legal and semantic skills, hereby hire the formidable barrister Vinny "The Snake" Starr to represent my interests in this matter, with whom I will share my winnings at Rotier's -- on contingency of course."

EDITORIAL COMMENT: Blog Editors have not yet researched the verity of the article, and have no comment.

** FROM VINNIE "Vinnie the Shark" STARR, September 18, 2007:

"Am considering Mr. Grissett's offer to represent him. I am currently researching Mike Gilbert's age , as the question specifically referred to someone over 40 years of age. I have my closing argument ready to go, "If the age is right, Grissett is tight". Just call me Johnnie Cochran

I'll send my retainer invoice later.

Vinnie the shark"

EDITORIAL COMMENT: Blog Editors remind Mr. Starr he is currently counsel of record for the Beta Pi Blog, and the Official Third Stooge, and submit he therefore would have a conflict of interest if he undertakes to represent Mr. Grissett.

** FROM DAVID HAINES, September 18, 2007:

"Fred Goldman, I hope."

** FROM ART LANDRY, September 18, 2007:

"I have already conceded the point and assigned my dinner rights to Mr. Steve (Short) Cummings with the request that he eat it, with my compliments.

Vin, I think that you face a conflict of interest because you possess writings of Mr. Grissett, which you have published, that make it clear that he is already beholden to you (the check was for a couple million I recall, and referred to someone named Sidney E.) . Therefore you cannot act as a dispassionate advocate with your client's best interests at heart.

I should also mention that the original joke, as I heard it, was "Who is the only middle-aged Jew to win the Heisman Trophy?" I know that it wasn't ESO.

Nonetheless, I am copying Mr. Oppenheimer in the event that he has legal rights against Messrs. Starr or Grissett. As a final note, Senor Bozino, I saw Hill Turner here in the Big Flooded just last week. He no longer sports that hair in the photo, or anything like it. It's hell to get old. VTL, AWL"

EDITORIAL COMMENT: Art - I’m glad to hear you saw Hill. How is he doing? I’d love to see him - and you!

** FROM JIMMY GRISSETT, September 19, 2007:

"What kind of lawyer have I hired? He's already working the age 40 thing against me pre-discovery -- it didn't say when he turned 40, did it? -- and I'm guessing he will start on the "white man" provision next -- maybe I do need Johnnie Cochran?

I also intended this to go to Vinnie the Snake of Snake, Pimp, Banger, and Flee but apparently it went to Vinnie The Shark of a different firm -- I request that his prior comments be stricken from the record.

Art, will you take my case?

JAG III"

EDITORIAL COMMENT: Jimmy, the Blog Risk Management Office has authorized me to convey an offer to you. The Blog offers to buy your dinner at Rotiers, at your next Reunion, and you must provide a scan of your year book photo (the Blog Library does not have a year book containing your head-shot). If none exists, you may submit a recent photo. That is the Blog’s offer, and that is all the authority I have. Will you settle for that? What say Ye?

RIDDLE CONTEST - posted on September 18, 2007, Vol.2007, No.49, Comment #1:

"RIDDLE / CONTEST: Be the first Tick-a-lor to answer correctly, and win dinner for 2 at Rotiers at your next VU Reunion!

QUESTION: WHO IS THE ONLY WHITE MAN IN HISTORY, OVER AGE 40, TO GET THE HEISMAN TROPHY?"

OFFICIAL ANSWER: Fred Goldman.

WINNERS: SPLIT DECISION. SCUMMINGS retains his title as Riddle Man for Reunion '07. LANDRY is awarded consolation prize of Dinner for 2 at Rotiers at his next Reunion, which will not be until 2011. Congrats to Steve and Art.

ARRRGH! T. PARR REMINDS TICK-A-LO’S: that Wednesday (today) is "International talk like a Pirate Day", and sent me this, with a note saying it reminded him of days-o-yore - thanks T!:

Wednesday is International

"Talk Like A Pirate Day"

Tomorrow you'll pay a buccaneer for corn?

Tue Sep 18, 2007 4:54 PM ET

By Paul Majendie

LONDON (Reuters) - Put a parrot on yourshoulder, strap on a peg leg, hit the rum and start bellowing "Shiver me Timbers" -- Wednesday is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

"Pirates of the Caribbean" star Johnny Depp is not the only over-the-top buccaneer allowed to have fun.

September 19 is your once-a-year chance to don an eye patch, sport a ridiculously large hat and keep on saying "Arrrrr.

It all started back in the 1990s as a cult joke between two American friends -- John "Ol Chumbucket" Baur and Mark "Capn Slappy" Summers -- but really took off when syndicated columnist Dave Barry got to hear about their surreal festival.

"We tap into that need for whimsy in people's lives," Summers says of the 24-hour celebration of quirkiness when they urge all self-respecting swashbucklers to show "pirattitude."

International Talk Like a Pirate Day (TLAPD), which adopted Treasure Island star Robert Newton as its patron saint, now attracts fans from as far afield as Britain and Australia and even boasts a special Wikipedia site on the Internet.

The day even has its own unofficial anthem -- American Tom Smith has written and recorded "Talk Like a Pirate Day" -- and Canadian sketch comedy troupe Loading Ready Run produced an educational video on how to swashbuckle with the best of them.

Ol Chumbucket and Capn Slappy are bombarded with requests for TLAPD interviews and proudly boast on their own website that they are even now being immortalized in computer games.

"That's fairly cool and geeky," Ol Chumbucket decided.

Pirate fans around the world have rallied round, showing that surreal silliness is alive and well.

An American soldier stationed in Iraq promised that "to celebrate, myself and others will wear an eye patch all day."

Sydney, Australia is staging a harbor cruise with "flagons of grog at pub prices and prizes to treasure for the dandiest of outfits."

A bar in Venice, Italy is holding an olive stone-spitting contest for would-be buccaneers.

A Brazilian fan even sent a letter of support in a bottle while one overjoyed Argentinian whose birthday falls on the same day said "It will be difficult to talk in Spanish like pirates but we will try."

* * * * *

Check out Beta Pi Blog on the web! The blog address is:

http://journals.aol.com/lasimons4law/beta-pi-blog/

VTL,

Larry Simons

Beta Pi, ‘72

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