Beta Pi:CAN "BETA PI BLOG" COMPETE WITH THE SATISFACTION YOU GET FROM TWITTER?:
Absolutely . . . . 
NOT! Beta Pi Blog exists for one reason: to bring ATO, Beta Pi Chapter Brothers together in the blog-o-sphere. The "blog" is non-political. It is easy-reading and user-friendly - it includes 
pictures, 
links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters. To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com/ .* * * * *
R.I.P. CHANCELLOR HEARD: As you may have heard, very sad news. Chancellor Alexander Heard died a few days ago here in Nashville. 
Vinny Starr starr2456@comcast.net sent me the obituary:"NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - Alexander Heard, a former Vanderbilt University chancellor who helped defend students’ decisions to invite campus speakers such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Stokely Carmichael, died Friday. He was 92. He died at home after a long illness, the university said. Heard was head of the private university in Nashville through the 1960s and ‘70s, and helped guide it through turbulent political conflicts that also struck other schools. In his decision to help students who organized speakers like King and Carmichael, a supporter of black power, Heard defended the school's mission to expose them to differing ideas. Heard also served as an education adviser in three presidential administrations under Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon."
* * * *
I remember being a Freshman in 1971, being herded onto buses with other Freshmen, and taken to Chancellor Heard’s residence for a Freshman Party. It was surreal meeting him. He had a kindness and dignity about him that made Vanderbilt great. Here are some things I wish to thank Chancellor Heard for:
Thank you, Chancellor Heard for everything you did to make my education excellent.
Thank you, Chancellor Heard for presiding over a time when Vanderbilt campus was green and beautiful and aesthetically pleasing - it had wide open courtyards and fields between the stately buildings, where we could walk and run and play frisbee between classes. (Now, the Build-a-holics and Develop-a-holics in the Administration have filled up every single square inch of ground with concrete and buildings. It is a crime.)
Thank you, Chancellor Heard for presiding over a time when the Greek System was valued as an important social structure in the University. Now, and during the past several years, Greeks are not valued, and "Greek" is considered politically incorrect. Vanderbilt is quietly trying to retake property on Fraternity Row, by convincing some fraternities that when their Lease expires (even though there’s a renewal option), they should move into "meeting rooms" with other "social groups" in a university building (I know, I was on the Alumni Board when ATO was confronted by University Officials in this way).
Thank you, Chancellor Heard for presiding over a time when college kids were allowed to have
fun at parties. Now, its as if the Nazi Party is camped out in front of Fraternity Parties, which require a "permit" and people must "sign-in" and "sign-out." Thank you Chancellor Heard for preventing these Anti-fraternity Nazi’s during your tenure.Thank you, Chancellor Heard for presiding over a time when it was "OK" to have a
"Mini-Woodstock" on our campus - The Grateful Dead were allowed to play at Vanderbilt! The 
Police were on the periphery, but let everyone alone. It was, and still remains the best Rock Concert I ever attended.Thank you Chancellor Heard for allowing
co-ed dorms. Thank you for turning a blind eye to 
Dean K.C. Potter’s many nights at Rotier’s. And thank you for the dignified manner in which you led our Alma Mater. Rest in Peace and God Bless you.* * * * *
During our years at Vanderbilt,
Buck Biller fbiller1@msn.com and I spent many hours plotting and scheming ways to achieve Glory (in the mind of 20-year-olds).To that end, as Freshmen, we broke into
Kirkland Hall together (true story). We planned and starred in "The Drink-Off" contest (binge-drinking at its worst - this was stupid, we could have died).And, when those two endeavors didn’t yield any glory - we dreamed up
"The Fight" (our own version of beer-boxing).So you see that my fascination with and love for "Contests" is like an old flame.
In that spirit, and in honor of the Class of 1974, and because I was not an eye-witness to the famed
"Human Flame" Exhibition put on by 
Matt Hart matthewjhart@yahoo.com - and I’m hoping there is an eye-witness out there who is willing to pen that Tale - I have conceived of a new contest, to be known as . . . .the 5-M Contest:
THE "MY MOST MEMORABLE MATT-HART MOMENT" CONTEST:
The Contest Rules.
1. This is an Essay Contest. Your Essay must be 100 words or less and contain no gross profanity. (profanity "lite" words such as "damn" and "shit" and "ralph" are allowed).
2. Your Essay must recall some "moment" - whether "spectacular" or not - and include some "quote" as spoken by Matt Hart, involving ATO’s, which is worthy of The Annals. It does not matter if the tale has been told before, or posted as a comment elsewhere on the Blog.
3. Your Essay may NOT be about that moment which all of us remember all-too-well, the moment in which the essence of Tick-a-lor was invented - when Matt told and reenacted the "Tale of the Tick-a-lor Man" - who said "Tick-a-lors, extenders and artificial harries." That would be too easy. Write about something better.
4. Send your entry to the Blog, by e-mail at lasimons4law@aol.com . All entries will be "posted" in the "Comments" section of this Issue. Contest will be concluded in about one or two weeks.
5. Since no one else has shown interest in Judging, once again the Contest Judges will be
The Three Stooges, who will convene by telephone, reach consensus, and declare a winner.6. Prizes.
First Prize - a free beer with Matt Hart at either:
Rotier’s, or
Kinnard’s (If Kinnard’s is closed, meet at Rotier’s); or
The Black Poodle in Printer’s Alley (If Black Poodle’s is closed, meet at Rotier’s).
Second Prize: a set of steak knives.
Third Prize: You’re Fired! (From Glengarry, Glenross)
7. Gentlemen, on your mark, pick up your pens, write!
* * * * *
LIKE MUSIC? Check out my music blog "Delta-Jam Records" at web address: http://www.myspace.com/deltajamrecords .
YOU SHOULD "COMMENT": You may read "Comments" posted to this page by Blog Editor and other Brothers, below. Check out these random "Comments" by clicking the "button" - as Buck likes to call it, is at the bottom of the "page." The button is very small - small red letters "Comments" - just below "VTL, . ." Having a techno-mini-meltdown? Call me and I’ll walk you through it - 615-512-1448. Too lazy? Send me an e-mail and I’ll post your comment. I end up posting most of them anyway.
BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: As of July 28, 2009, the Blog roster stands at 97 Beta Pi brothers, 89 Tick-a-lo men online who have e-mail addresses, and 8 ATO Girlfriends-o-Yore. If you have an e-mail address on a Brother, or sister - fork it over!
VTL,
Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72
15 comments:
FROM FRANK BILLER, July 28, 2009:
"One cold gray rainy day our freshman or sophmore year, Vinnie and I were walking along the South side of Kirkland. It was winter and there were no leaves on the trees. We were headed toward Kissam Quad. It was late afternoon and lights were on in the offices at Kirkland. Vinnie and I looked up at Kirkland on the second or third floor.
There stood Chancellor heard looking out the window. He saw us and waved. We waved back.
After that I always felt very safe and welcome at Vanderbilt. It was as if he were watching over us.
I don't feel so safe anymore. I will miss him.
Buck"
FROM PENELOPE MALONE, July 28, 2009:
"A lovely story. In my heart there will be only one Chancellor of Vanderbilt University and his name is Alexander Heard.
His memorial service in Benton Chapel will be broadcast live on VUCast tomorrow (Wed.) at 3 pm CT. Go to www.vanderbilt.edu to log onto VUCast."
5-M CONTEST ENTRY FROM STEVE STARR, July 29, 2009:
"Once upon a time in my sophomore year of college ( I was a sophomore ATO pledge), I was down in the basement of the ATO house with a few other guys watching or playing pinball. At that time the pinball machine was in that space just near the girls bathroom, against the wall. There probably had been a party recently as there were many glasses around the area and on top of the pinball machine, filled with who knows what mysterious substances. At some point, Matt Hart walked in and stood around the pinball machine, watching the action. A few moments later, his head snapped upwards and he started sniffing the air in large, long, sniffs. The guys around the pinball machine stopped what they were doing at this weirdness, at which time Matt said loudly, "I smell something funny. Something smells funny around here. Something smells like VINEGAR!!!". At which point his head spun sharply and he looked straight at MY face and yelled, "IT'S STEVE STARR! YOU SMELL LIKE VINEGAR! I'M GONNA CALL YOU VINNIE!!"
And that is the essence of how Matt Hart gives out nicknames.
P.S. Larry, if you edit any of this, I'm going to punch your lights out!......."
FROM JOHN STEIN, July 29, 2009:
"Buck,
It would only be fitting for you to be designated as our “perpetual worthy scribe.” Your gift with the English language is so very strong. Your brief sentiment captured the essence of the Heard reign better than any of the more lengthy tributes published this week. Thanks !
Keep writing, pls.. jfs
John F. Stein"
FROM MARTY HEFLIN, July 29, 2009:
"I was class of 1980, a little bit behind (in more ways than one, I am sure) most of the folks on this list. I wanted to share a brief remembrance of Chancellor Heard. As others have noted, I remember with fondness the Freshman dinner at his house in Belle Meade...the man had the most incredible accent! A classmate, and fellow ATO of the Class of 1980 was Alex Heard. He is a gifted writer (last seen writing for Outside magazine) and he brought out the sense of humor Chancellor Heard had in a series of letters that were published in the Hustler. Alex (no relation) penned a letter to the Chancellor saying that since he shared his name, he should also be allowed to share the privileges of Chancellorship. Chancellor Heard responded with a letter back to the Hustler that, as I recall, began with "You miserable worm..." - it was all tongue and cheek and they carried it out over several weeks culminating in a meeting at Overcup Oak and the sharing of laughs and beers.
He will always be my Chancellor of Vanderbilt University.
Best to all,
Marty
P.S. Larry - in your Matt Hart contest, Kinnards is only an office building now - I'm sitting in it. No more chess pie!
Martin Heflin"
TO MARTY: Yeah, I know, sadly Kinnard's Restaurant folded long ago. I only mentioned it tongue-in-cheek because Matt Hart used to work as a waiter there. It was so weird, going to dine there, having Dr. Phibes acting so polite and professional.
FROM PENELOPE MALONE, July 29, 2009:
"I would be happy to provide an authentic southern chess pie recipe for anyone who is in need of it.....as long as a waiver is signed absolving me of all responsibility for any subsequent valve replacement or heart bypass surgery that is subsequently required. Penelope Malone"
TO PENELOPE: Right, it's "assumption of the risk" of gobbling some tasty chess pie!
FROM MARTY HEFLIN, July 29, 2009:
"Penelope -
Sign me up for some flatlining chess pie!
Thanks,
Marty
Martin Heflin"
TO MARTY: Pretty obvious that Penelope has a deep understanding of the importance of matters such as authentic southern-style chess pie!
5-M ENTRY FROM FRANK BILLER, PART 1 OF 2, July 29, 2009
Dear Boys and Wenches,
Here is my Matt Hart story. It is little known and I only learned it by accident on a late night Pub crawl in Manhattan when my sons Hank & Jack dragged me into McSorley's Olde Ale House for a half & half and a cheese plate last summer...
GlenGarry/GlenHart
The ancient bartender (figuring that I was picking up the tab and starting to work the tip) asked me what I was in town for. I told him business, to visit the Biller Boys and maybe take in a show. He waxed melancholy as he said to me "There will never be another Broadway show like Glen Garry/Glen Ross". I had a strange feeling that I was being set up for something, but I was just too curious. I said "I always liked that show" and asked the bartender why he was so fond of it.
"Mahmet himself was in here one night back in the late sixties and was talking to some kids. He came up with the whole freakin' script right here at the bar. Jimmy's retired now, but he was here. He turned to an old guy at the corner of the bar "Hey Jimmy!". Jimmy piped up on cue. "Yeah, that's right. Mahmet. Right here at the freakin' bar. We had a whole crew of smart ass high school kids that used to come in here from out on the Island with fake ID's. A big guy they called the Boss, a good lookin' guy they called Nate, this real loudmouthed smartass kid called himself "Dr. Vibes" or something like that" and a bunch of other kids. "Always talking about snortin' mustard, Ralphin', gettin' laid and goin' down to Times Square to get French Ticklers and the like".
"So one night in the summer these punks are in here and Mahmet is casting a show in town and he's here too, right about where you're sittin' there at the bar. The punks from the Island are busting balls right next to him. Mahmet is takin' all this in, nursing a Guiness and writin' stuff down on a pad. Seems that one of the Island guys was braggin' that he could score with some bimbo downtown the night before. Claims he got her home, undresses her, is making out on the bed the whole schmear. But, it turns out he didn't "sink the Bismark" if ya know what I mean. So, the loud mouth kid, "Dr. Ives" or whatever, is bustin' this would-be Romeo kid really good. So the loudmouth says to Romeo "Tell the truth Man. You didn't get any Snapper! You have done this a thousand times. You get to the gates of Heaven and you just can't close the deal. You will never get laid Man cause you can't close. And everybody knows "SNAPPER IS FOR CLOSERS".
Well, Mahmet jumps up off his stool and comes right over to loudmouth. "Sir, he says, I am the playwright David Mahmet and I would like to talk to you and your friends. Loudmouth says, "Well I am Matt Hart but don't ever call me Hart. Me and my boys are just gettin' ready to head for Times Square to get some "Ticklors, Extendors and Artificial Haries". But, if you wanna buy us a beer we will hang around for a while."
So, Mahmet talks to these punks for a while, picks up their bar tab (which loudmouth runs up by ordering a couple of rounds of Rock 'n Rye), writes a bunch of notes then takes off. (Continued)
5-M ENTRY FROM FRANK BILLER, PART 2 OF 2, July 29, 2009:
"Fastforward to 1992, the missus wants to go to the movies. I like the Westerns, but she likes dramas. She's reading me the reviews from the Times and says there's a movie of Glengarry/Glen Ross that just opened and is gettin good reviews. Now I saw the play on Broadway and it was OK but I never made any connection with it. But, I figure, what the hell. Mahmet still comes in McSorley's once in a while and if I told him I saw the show, maybe he'll buy me a Guiness. So I go.
Sure as shit, Alec Baldwin walks on the screen and says just like old "Dr. Vibes", the loudmouth kid from the Island, "Coffee is for closers". I almost crapped my pants. Baldwin was the kid only 10 years older with slicked down hair and a $1000 suit!. Slick and Cocky and Arrogant and Mean as a snake. Sure as shit he was the kid
I read up on it and Mahmet came up with the character first then wrote the play around it. But the Kid was never in the play. something to do with sets or timing or something. Mahmet did the screenplay too and put "Dr. Vice" in it. Kinda one of those Home-ah-ges.
So, Mahmet comes in here the last year I was workin' and I get down by the end of the bar an I'm talkin' to him and remind him of the story. He throws his head back and laughs real hard. Then he smiles and comes in kinda close to me and says in a real soft voice "Jimmy, you and I are the only ones who remember that night. So, if you promise to keep it a secret, I will buy you a Guiness every time I see you. Square deal says I and we proceed to have several that night" He paused and his face narrowed. "But you know gents, Mr. Mahmet ain't here tonight and I am little short. Would you fine boys stand an old man to a Guiness" Square deal says I and Jimmy, my Boys and I all had several that night.
The End
That is my submission. I will be judging also and can tell you that I have already cast my vote for myself.
Unless of course, Steak makes an entry and wants to swap her vote in the upcoming Tic's in Speedo's contest for my vote in the Matt Hart story contest.
Yours truly,
Frank J. "Buck" Biller"
E-COMPLAINT FROM THE LOVE-MAN, July 30, 2009:
"Why does Matt Hart get so much attention on this web-site???!!! He can get his own web-site!!!! I want my own web-site!!!
Tom Lovinggood"
TO TOM: There now, Tom . . . everything will be OK . . . just breathe deeply, look in the mirror and repeat this phrase: "I am good enough, I am smart enough, and people LIKE me." After all, you are THE Love-Man!
FROM JIMMY GRISSETT, July 30, 2009:
"Marty --
Good story -- it causes me to recollect that I was Big Brother (?) to our version of Alex Heard per someone's assessment that I had the proper chemical balance to tutor him in the ways of Ticdom. I did run into him in Santa Fe a couple of years ago and skied with him for a couple of days -- he's pretty good, I guess you have to be at Outside magazine. He was also editor of NY Times magazine and did a book -- "Apocalypse Pretty Soon", about his experiences with survival types -- link below.
http://www.wwnorton.com/catalog/fall98/apocalypse.htm
He's working on another and passed through Atlanta last fall while working on it -- will send an autographed copy when I get it.
In the meantime, I have figured out my new scanner and will post my copy of Heartfield's entry into the Speedo contest as soon as I get up to speed on this new Osborne computer -- unless he/Chip comes clean with the original forthwith.
JAG III"
FROM CHIP HEARTFIELD, July 30, 2009:
"I am thinking of re-creating the Speedo bikini picture now, some 27 years and 20 pounds later. Should be even more attractive. Perhaps Grissett and Mark Adams will join me again?
Chip"
FROM JIMMY GRISSETT, July 30, 2009:
"OK Fabio, I'm game if you are -- does Adams still get to wear his boxers? And the offer still stands: a keg each at Homecoming if Oppenheimer and Don join us.
In the meantime, post the original or suffer the consequences.
JAG III
PS -- Here's a note I just got from the Tic Big Al re: Marty's story -- I think letting our Alex run things on Thursday mornings would have been a reasonable compromise.
----------------
Almost finished with the book, thank god. Good year to come skiing if you're interested.
Marty's memories of the Heard/Heard smackdown are close but not quite right. He never stopped being pissed about that, and he snubbed me pretty hard the two times I met him after it happened ... once at a lunch for "student leaders." (I qualified, barely, because I edited Versus.)
I thought Heard was a good chancellor. From his perspective, I'm sure the bratty 1979 edition of me was pretty hard to take.
FROM MARTY HEFLIN, July 30, 2009:
"I am glad Alex has straightened me out! I always seek a happy ending, I guess. I do remember sitting in Overcup Oak with Chancellor Heard, I guess the years melded the incidents together.
Alex still owes me for permanent brain damage from excessive stump diving at Star Chamber!
VTL,
MHH
Martin Heflin
FROM D.R. FLOWER, July 30, 2009:
"My addition to the accolades of Chancellor Heard is his handling of the US/South Africa Davis cup match held on campus in the spring of ’78. Amidst the international fervor to use athletes as political pawns, he rose above the fray and allowed the matches to be held. While these matches were not directly connected to the academic environment of the University, it was heartening to see that Vanderbilt did not succumb to political pressure from the outside.
And, trust me, apartheid got is due discussion/dissection on campus. But where it belonged – in the classroom, the dorms, the Overcup Oak, etc.
D.R. FLOWER?
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