Thursday, April 12, 2007

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.22 - Son of Fuad / Marlon Update

Beta Pi:

SON OF FUAD:

So I got a call from Brother Frank Biller fbiller1@msn.com last night. Here is what Frank reports. He got a voice message from a mystery man of Arabic descent, which he played for me. It is indeed a mystery:

"Hello, this is Rashid Ashkar. I am the illegitimate son of Fuad Ashkar, a.k.a. George Ash. The reason I call you, I found your name in the crumpled papers within the Hama Rabi, crushed in my late father’s hands at the moment of his death. I am trying to locate his homosexual lover, Steven Starr. Please call me at your earliest convenience."

Seems Frank is somewhat obsessed with that infamous moment in Tick-a-lor history when Brother Steven Starr starr2456@comcast.net was down for the count and at the tender mercies of the international swinger Fuad (see, Archives, Vol.2007, No.14). What is this obsession all about Frank?

MARLON McGANN UPDATE: Anyway, Frank also reports he had a great talk with the Immortal Marlon, a.k.a. Mark McGann markmcgann@prodigy.net , and the big news is that Marlon is committed to attending VU Reunion ‘07. Brother Biller was so moved, he made an irrevocable vow to attend, which he recorded by voice message, and I quote:

"Hey yo’ Larry, its me Buck. I just had a really good long talk with Marlon. He scared the s_ _t out of me when he called - ‘cause he goes, "Buck, its Marlon - I’m dyin’ " - and you know, Marlon had brain cancer and survived, {for more history of Marlon, See Archives, Vol.2006, No.11 (August, 2006)} so I’m like what the #$%^&*, but he was just joking, he’s fine - that’s Marlon. So, he just called me to BS. Marlon wants to know about Reunion, so I told him "Marlon, you’ve gotta go to Reunion! Marlon, you’ll have a ball!" He said "what da ya do - what if you’ve gotta sit by somebody you can’t stand?" I said "It’s just like anything - if its fun you stay, if not you leave. Hey - your Tick buddies will be there, your classmates will be there. I said "Marlon, if you show up I’ll show up."


"If Marlon McGann shows up after what that man’s been through in his life, I’m gonna be there - I would sell my soul to have a beer at Rotiers with that man again. Larry, I’ll bethere, I swear to God I’ll be there, I swear on my children I will be there, no matter what."

Thus endeth the irrevocable vow. Greater love hath no man . . .

Buck also said he and Marlon recounted memories of many memorable nights at Waxie’s Pub. Ah, sweet memories. Thanks to Buck and Marlon for inspiration.

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VTL,

Larry Simons

Beta Pi, ‘72

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

FROM FRANK BILLER, April 13, 2007:
"Hey you Ticklords.
I name Dr. Tom Smthh newrosergnry of Minnesota sant paul.  I proud say bad news of you fratboy brother buckbillen.  Him he fall from bed after go
whioskey night with'n fratboy brothers vinee and opee  hit hed baD.  need big operashen or go in big tichouse in sky.  You send money now to me make
operashun.  SENED ME you social and route munber at bank save buckbillen now
Truly nyou
Doctor tom

Cash or Wire usd to
Fouad Ashkar aka George Ash
c/o Hal & Jinxy’s IGA
1135 Upper Slimy Slough
North Hebron, MN 55555"

MY RESPONSE:  Buck, this isn't a variation of your  character who called me last Christmas to harangue me over some alleged civil rights violations, is it?  Maybe a twisted version of Uncle Tom's Cabin is seeping in.  I LOVE IT!