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Beta Pi
Blog’s purpose: to bring ATO, Beta Pi Chapter Brothers and ATO Gal-Pals
together. The blog is not to be taken
seriously - it is meant for
fun.
The
Beta Pi Blog is non-political. It
includes
pictures,
links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters.
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THE “TICK-A-LOR
NICKNAMES”
ESSAY CONTEST
By
Frank J. Biller, Lawrence A. Simons and Steven B. Starr
All of
the entries are in. There were 6
contestants, in alphabetical order as follows: Frank
Collins, Don Engelmann, Tison Keel, Mark McGann, Chris Regas and Dick Stoner.
Because
of the colorful nature of deliberations, the Blog has decided to give you
unprecedented access to actual deliberations:
FOR
THIRD PLACE: there
was not a consensus, but a majority vote.
Third Place goes to CHRIS “THE GREEK” REGAS. Here is the entry:
“The Heme”, by Chris Regas
"The Heme" originated when
George came back from the trainer with his arm heavily wrapped....Stubbs (no
explanation needed) and I asked what happened to your arm... with no context or
explanation, George simply said Hematoma. We thought that was hilarious for
some reason and began calling him Heme, with an occasional Hume thrown for no
known reason... it just stuck. "Greek"
on the other hand is no more interesting than it being my heritage, and I used
to wear a Greek fisherman's hat ... allot. We had some doozies didn't we? Rat,
Cheeks, and on and on... live that you keep us connected... thanks!
Here
are the deliberations:
BUCK: Greek, you
get high marks for “Brevity”. “They called me Greek because I am
Greek”. Positively Hemingway-esque. One of the reasons we all love
you Greek is because you always give homage to the other guy. Thanks for
sharing the story about how Heme got his name.
VINNY: The Greek’s
essay is a real winner because (1) Well, he is the Greek; (2) terrifically
narrated story of the Heme’s nickname, which I’m not sure I’ve ever heard
before (while sober of memory), especially Heme’s one word response “Hematoma.”
BOZINO: Greek,
thanks for your excellent entry, we love you brother! Vinny, you might want to look in to “long
term memory” disorders, as possibly applicable to Vinny. The Hematoma story was previously revealed by
Heme himself, and as with all of your e-mail and other messages, you probably
blew it off, like you do everything, then forgot that you blew it off. Buck reminded me the other day of the sheer
joy of giving Vinny shit. J
FOR
SECOND PLACE: again
there was not a consensus, but a majority vote.
Second Place goes to FRANK “MARTY” COLLINS. Marty, your set of “Steak Knives” awaits
you. Here is the entry:
“Marty” by Frank Collins
“OK, I feel compelled to tell my story. Not about Conan Petersen or
Birdman Page, but they were most certainly in attendance when this happened.
"Young Frankenstein" was released in December 1974. That very
semester I had pledged ATO and been admitted into the palatial estate on
Kensington Place. One evening, off I went quite innocently with my buds, Conrad
being one of them, to see the movie at a theatre on a side street in Hillsboro
Village. I was sitting towards the front of the theatre and munching on
popcorn; munchies being what we had prior to any movie in those days. Not far
into the movie, Igor, played by Marty Feldman, appears. As soon as he makes his
entrance, from the back of the theatre calls out a voice, "It's Frank
Collins!" It turns out Chris Page was sitting in the theatre as well. I
don't recall if he knew I was there. I don't think I knew he was. But I knew it
was him as soon as he called out those words,. They were not uttered discreetly
under his breath, they were shouted out. The only people laughing were Chris,
Conrad and, yes, me. I prefer the "Heme" tag, to be honest, which I
inherited with great pain during the Travis Parr overtime period. Yet amongst
the Tics, the Marty tag has stuck. Although adding about 50 pounds to my frame
since then, I am more often mistaken for Doc Brown (Chris Lloyd) than I am
Marty Feldman anymore.”
Here
are the deliberations:
BUCK: Frank, your
entry is awesome, by any calculation. I love your “Stoners at the movies”
story. Marty, every time I talk to you I hear a great back story like
this. Loved the link to Cono and Bird Man.
VINNY: I don’t
recall hearing that particular movie theater story, and it is a good one.
BOZINO: Marty, I
had to object to Vinny on this one. Your
story is not merely good, it is outstanding.
Vinny, again, go see a Geriatric Specialist, if you can remember to put
it on your busy calendar. J
FOR
FIRST PLACE: Here
your Judges had a consensus. First Place
goes to MARK “MARLON” McGANN. Marlon, if
you show, you will be awarded your prize:
Dinner on
the Three Stooges at Rotier’s Restaurant - at
the next Reunion (for you and your spouse/significant other, no limit to how
much beer you can drink, spouse/significant other limited to one Long-neck).
Here
is the winning entry:
“Marlon” by Mark McGann
“Our composites were done by Vantine Studios (now Vantine Imaging) of
Hamilton, NY. In 1937, Edward Vantine Sr. left Boston and headed towards
Syracuse, NY in search of a fresh start. Taking a wrong turn, he ended up
at the Colgate Inn in Hamilton, NY. A photographer by trade, Edward
started taking pictures of the fraternity brothers at Colgate University and
developing his film in the bathtub. Hamilton soon became Edward Vantine
Sr.'s home and his dream a reality when he founded Edward Vantine Studios, the
first Collegiate Composite Photography Company servicing fraternities and
sororities. They are still in the business today.
My senior year, when it came time to have our pictures done, as a goof and kind
of what the hell, on the card you were given to fill out, for name, I put
Marlon Brando. As I heard from others later, when the photographer came back
to get final approval on the proofs, he discreetly asked some lay abouts on the
couch who is this Marlon Brando and showed them my picture. They all replied
with something like, oh, that’s Marlon. I’m guessing that Vantine, no
doubt faced with many fictional names over the years and in the interest of
protecting their integrity, always tried to insure accuracy. My nickname
graced that year’s composite.”
Here
are the deliberations:
BUCK: I give Mark
top marks for Historical Detail and Perspective. I always fondly
remembered you for calling people “Huevos” all the time. I never realized what
a smart and interesting MOFO you were until the night we tried to see how many
martini’s we could drink before we passed out in DC a few years back.
VINNY: Marlon gets
highest marks because (1) Good backstory with some historical overtones-shows
Vanderbilt research training still alive and kicking; (2) The story of his
nickname being on the ATO composite has serious reverberations to my own forays
into that genre, with my ATO composite pictures during my Law School years
being captioned with “Phineas J. Whipsnade” and then “Ezekiel Floose”; (3) Love
the addendum with the Keith Daniels swear word etymology and the up to now
forgotten “Wuss”. Kudos.
BOZINO: Marlon,
your entry is tops for me because it best exemplifies the ATO “spirit.” The back and forth between the brothers. The
hint of sarcasm. Well done old friend.
OTHER “HONORABLE
MENTION” COMMENTS:
BUCK: Don
Engelmann’s entry gets an award for
“Nebulosity”. We still love that hair Funkman. Please note that in
accordance with Funky’s signature he is heretofore to be referred to as SENIOR
VP Funky… Example Please come to reunion Senior VP Funky…
BOZINO: Buck, I
agree, we need a FUNKY APPEARANCE! Don,
you simply must come and join us, we miss you bro’.
BUCK: Dick Stoner’s entry gets the Honorable Mention Award. “Implicated himself in nefarious homoerotic
activity story”. “I roomed with Bum-Jam when he got his nickname”????
Honorable mention for “Born with a Cohen brothers
screenplay name”. That title is held in perpetuity by Rod Yanker.
BOZINO: I for one
am looking forward to Stoner’s appearance, so I can hear the inside story of
how Randy Martin got his nick name. The
only thing that could improve that would be for Randy himself to show up.
BUCK: Tison Keel, Evasiveness Award. Evasive
answer to the question. [edited for political content] would have been
proud. Unless I missed something, Too Tall never mentioned the origins of
that name. Great remembrances though of Miriam Staples, Furr and other
solid nick name sub-references.
VINNY: I will be happy to join the other two stooges at
Jimmy Kelly’s and/or Rotier’s with any and all contest entrants and or named
contest references at our upcoming reunion, which happily this year does not
conflict with my wedding anniversary!
BOZINO: Thanks to
Honorable Stooge Judges Frank Biller and Steven Starr, without whom there would
be no Stooges.
BUCK: Thanks to
all the entrants, the judges, the academy and the Rules and Regulations
Enforcement team from the ABA for setting down the rules of the contest. I
will be at Homecoming/Reunion weekend every year. Whichever of you mugs
shows up Thursday night will get a free steak dinner at Jimmy Kelly’s whenever
you show up. I am also throwing Heme in because I love Heme and his nick
name story is the greatest.
* *
*
FROM
BLOG CORRESPONDENT KINGSLEY KAMINER
I
received this article, and awesome picture from the great Kingsley Kaminer, Beta
Pi Blog Correspondent and ATO Gal Pal Extraordinaire.
“Purging, trashing, recycling, donating and recently
came across old photos of which this is one. ATO house. Proof positive that
women - the great Dr. Becky Denham here - were breaking through a formidable
glass ceiling in the 70's and playing WT and not just fetching. Enjoy.”
Thanks
Kingsley, you are awesome! I hope to see
you next Reunion.
* *
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KEEPING
TABS:
Here is
a reminder of the Brothers we have lost.
EDWARD
G. “TED” STEPHANY, died January 20, 2016.
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2016, No.01, Archive: Jan. 2016
J. NEAL
CRENSHAW, died November 12, 2014.
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2014, No.08, Archive: Nov. 2014
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2014, No.10, Archive: Dec. 2014
MILES
WALSH, died in July, 2013.
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2013, No.05, Comments Section (over 50 comments), Archive: Aug.2013
DAVID
HOWE, died November 30, 2006.
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2006, No.68, Archive: December, 2006.
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2007, No.30, Archive: May, 2007
KURT
WAGNER, died in July, 2002.
Beta Pi
Blog, Vol.2016, No.02, Archive: Jan. 2016
ALEXANDER WILSON, died in 1977.
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THE
ARCHIVES
If you
have never explored the “Archives” in this Blog – it is toward the top of the
latest “blog issue”, on the right. You
access it by clicking on the Month and Year, and it will drop down with
choices. For example, if you click on
December, 2006, it will drop down and list all issues that were published that
month. If you want Issue No. 68, you
click on that, and it takes you to that issue.
You can then post a comment to that issue. It’s never too late to post a comment,
right?
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BLOG ROSTER STATS:
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