Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2009, No.29 - Hurricane Phibes Hits Nashville, PART 2

Beta Pi:

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YEA . . . . OR

NAY?

Beta Pi Blog exists for one reason: to bring ATO, Beta Pi Chapter Brothers together. The "blog" does not take itself very seriously - it is meant for fun, and therefore is non-political. It includes pictures, links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters. To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com/ .

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SATURDAY - TAIL GATE PARTY:

So we show up about 10:00 a.m., grab a plate-o "brunch food" and went looking for the "Class of 74 Table." There sits Matt Hart, and the seat beside him was vacant, so I sat down.

"What is all that food - biscuits, gravy, bacon, sausage?" said Phibes critically.

"You need to focus on your own frickin’ plate of food" says I.

To my utter surprise, I look across the table, and there sits . . .

JIM CORDNER! cordnerjp@hotmail.com , Bob Smoot & George Welborn

Jim, it was awesome seeing you, glad you came my Brother!

Also present were

Marla & Tom Lovinggood and Jack Muench.

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SATURDAY - HOMECOMING GAME:
Georgia fans were everywhere, and we got clobbered. It was George Welborn gwelborn@mindspring.com who said "Can you say deja vu?" George, that said it all.

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SATURDAY - 3RD ANNUAL ATO DINNER:
Buck, Vinny and I are standing around the reception area at Cabana Restaurant waiting for guys to show. . . .

THE TALE OF THE LEANER:
J.D. Strickland shows up and takes a seat. Matt Hart comes in, starts saying hello to guys, and sees J.D..

So Matt goes over to J.D. (who is still seated) and yells

"Who are you?"

J.D. starts to mumble something . . . , and before J.D. can respond Matt says

"Who are you?"

Of course, we are all laughing our arses off.

Then, J.D. gets up his nerve and starts talking to Matt and the Three Stooges. Well, in fairness to J.D., the noise level in the bar was pretty loud.

So J.D. would say something to me, and he would LEAN IN.

He’d say something to Buck , and he would LEAN IN.

Well, he starts talking to Phibes and LEANING IN, and Phibes looked at us with a twinkle in his eye, and he moved back a little.

J.D. kept LEANING IN - so Phibes yells at him

"What’s this guy - LEANING IN? He’s a LEANER, he’s LEANING IN on me, get him away from me."

Of course, Buck and Vinny and I are laughing hysterically by now.

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SURPRISE APPEARANCE BY LEAPIN’ GENE YOUNG:

We are still standing around the bar, waiting for our table, and a guy walks up to me and says "Hey, Larry Simons, I was just sitting over here and recognized you.

GENE YOUNG here!"

Well, I about flipped over backwards - I was so surprised. Apparently, Gene just decided to show for the ATO Dinner, fabulous. Gene gyoung@westernwireprod.com looked great. Gene, Buck and J.D. have it in a dead heat for who has changed the least since college.

Gene, it was so good to see you, old friend!

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THE TALE OF THE GLUTEUS FOLD:

So we are all seated at this great big L-shaped table at Cabana, the waitress is delivering drinks. Gene Young is to my left, and I’m talking to him and Buck about something important (escapes me). Then, I thought I felt a "cold" sensation at the top of my gluteus fold (butt-crack), but paid no attention. I go on talking, and then I felt a felt a "wet / cold" sensation at the top of my gluteus fold.
At that point, I knew a practical joke was going on - I reached back with my hand to defend against it. I look to my right and I see the hand-o-Phibes holding a straw with water in it, finger-on-top holding in the water, and I hear the distinctive sound of Phibes giggling.

It was so funny, I almost died laughing. Apparently, as I was leaning, my shirt came untucked from my jeans, and this was too big a temptation for Phibes to resist. Ann later told me Phibes came up while I was immersed in conversation, and told her "Watch this" as he proceeded to route plumbing down my gluteus fold.

10 minutes later, I got him back. I put a few ice cubes down the collar of his shirt. Big fun, just like the old days.

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3RD ANNUAL ATO DINNER ATTENDEES:

After we were all seated and food started to arrive, in what has become a tradition at the ATO Dinner, Muenchie asked me to do the honors, and say the ATO Prayer. Alexander Wilson used to say before meals at the House.

Lord of Mankind, Master Divine

Keep us pure in heart and mind

And so that we may know Thee

Thy Presence show

Guard and guide us, ATO.

George Welborn, Jack Muench and Debra Payne

J.D. Strickland, Jimmy Grissett & Doug Qualls

Beth Raebeck, Carmen Electra & Beth's Daughter Christy.

Chuck & Karen Wharton, and David Haines

David & Kathy Haines, and Ann Polk Simons

Gene Young and Buck Biller

Kathy & Dennis Price

Slim Whitman, Mary Hunt, and Dennis Price's daighter-in-law

Gene Young & George Welborn

Dennis & Kathy Price & daughter-in-law

John & Beth Stein made a brief appearance, but John was feeling under the weather, and - understandably - left after saying hello. John, I hope you are feeling better old friend. Thanks for making the effort.

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THE TALE OF HUMAN TOAST:

We’re standing around after dinner, talking trash. And I asked Phibes about the "Human Torch" incident I’d heard about (but did not see). Asked him if he’d write it for the blog, and he says: "No way. I mighty want to get another job someday."

So he proceeds top tell the tale . . . of . . . HUMAN TOAST.

Phibe’s missed his very first Shipwreck, because he and his date had another engagement - they got "waylaid." Right. The next day when he went to the Tick House, he got a lot a grief from guys - "Where were you?" - "You missed the greatest party on earth."

So, to make amends, Phibes promised to put on a special spectacle the following year. In the intervening months, he obtained an Asbestos Suit from an Army Navy Surplus Store in New York.

When Shipwreck arrived, Phibes had pals Stubby (Corey Clark) and Nate (Tom Curtain) assist him. Nate was in charge of clearing the pool by midnight. Stubby was in charge of handing a lit match to Phibes, who was standing at the basement door, dousing his Suit with gasoline. In Phibe’s own words . . .

"But Stubby was so nervous, he couldn’t get the match lit. All the while, the gasoline is seeping into my suit, irritating my skin. I’m getting really pissed at Stubby. So I had to douse more gasoline on the suit. Stubs lights the match, and he puts it in my glove . . . and I take the match down to my suit . . . and WHOOOOOOSH - it goes up in flames. I ran in the basement door and jumped in the pool. It was spectacular."

Phibes did have minor burns. There are no known photographs of the event, which remains the most spectacular stunt ever pulled at the Tick House.

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A WALES TALES EXHIBITION GAME:

[This story is dedicated to a moronic derelict we all know, HACK MEIHOFF (you remember, JACK'S retarded brother, the guy that wrote that controversial Anti-Wales Tales article)] . . . .

Jack & Hack, The Meihoff Brothers

So after dinner, I hear Matt talking about an Exhibition Tales Game, and there was a vacant table (booth).

David Haines, Matt Hart, Buck Biller & Doug Qualls

Chuck Wharton, Vinny Starr, David Haines, Matt Hart & Buck Biller

Jack Muench - and The Gallery: Linda Burns Bayles & Ann Polk Simons

The game lasted only about 30 minutes, and everyone walked away happy. The Cabana booth turned out to be perfect for Tales.

At that point, Matt relieved himself.

All told, the 3rd Annual ATO Dinner was a huge success! Thanks to all of you who attended. Thanks to Jack Muench for the outstanding job he did as Class of '74 Point Man. Special thanks to my wife, Ann Polk Simons for setting up the dinner reservations at Cabana, and pulling strings with her friends there to accomodate our group. A NIGHT TO REMEMBER!

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BETA PI BLOG WELCOMES DEBBIE PAYNE: Accompanying Pi Phi Linda Burns Bayles to the ATO Dinner was Pi Phi Debbie Payne, who is an artist from Dallas. Jack Muench has nominated Debbie to be inducted in the Blog. We enjoyed Debbie’s company at the Dinner. Accordingly, it is with great pleasure that the Blog welcomes DEBBIE PAYNE debrasuepayne@yahoo.com to the Beta Pi Blog.

DING, DING, DING, DING. That makes Debbie the 100th e-subscriber to the Blog - 90 ATO Brothers and 10 ATO Girl-friends-o-yore. (Sorry Debbie, no prize. Hey, what can I say, nobody pays me to do this wacky blog).

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LIKE MUSIC? Check out my music blog "Delta-Jam Records" at web address: http://www.myspace.com/deltajamrecords .

COMMENTS: Sometimes, I think no one reads the comments. Only about 10 Brothers are tech-savvy enough to post a comment, and those who actually post comments are rare. Most of the Brothers use e-mail to comment. So, I have used the COMMENT SECTION of the blog to POST YOUR E-MAILS, "for the annals."

HERE IS HOW TO POST, OR READ COMMENTS: Click on the button - "Comments" - just below "VTL, . ." If you’re having trouble you are a freakin’ moron, just give it up (kidding) - send me an e-mail and I’ll post your comment. Or, call me and I’ll walk you through it - 615-512-1448.

BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS: As of October 22, 2009, the Blog roster stands at 90 Tick-a-lo men online who have e-mail addresses (plus 8 Brothers who do not have e-mail), and 10 ATO Girlfriends-o-Yore. The blog needs e-mail addresses, please share!

VTL,

Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72