Sunday, February 18, 2018

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2018, No.01 – Medical Advisory



















Beta Pi:

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 Beta Pi Blog’s purpose: to bring ATO, Beta Pi Chapter Brothers and ATO Gal-Pals together.  The blog is not to be taken seriously - it is meant for fun. 

The Beta Pi Blog is non-political.  It includes



pictures, links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters.

To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com

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The Beta Pi Blog depends upon the generous contributions of stories and anecdotes from viewers like you.  This month, Gold Contributor Franklin Jeronimus Biller, III, a/k/a Buck - has made two very generous contributions.  Without his contributions, this edition of the Blog might not have been possible, due to temporary writer’s block and unseasonable Spring Fever.  Thanks to my dear friend Buck!

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MEDICAL ADVISORY
By Frank J. Biller, Medical Advocate, Metaphysician, Alchemist and Sorcerer

So I had this colonoscopy yesterday. What a pain in the butt.
 
 
 
 
 
The cute little nurse says “Roll over on your left side Mr. Miller” as she pulls back the back flap on my hospital nightie revealing my nether regions from the southern exposure. My drop dead gorgeous anesthesiologist says, “Now let’s review your chart Frank just to make sure everything is in order. As she starts the IV she asks, “your name is…?”
 



 
 
 
 

The next thing I know I am in an opioid dream.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I am revisiting my pledge training as Matt Hart picks up the fire extinguisher and starts rambling about “mystic enemas.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Matt’s face morphs into Chet Brewer’s as a guest speaker as Larry and I are conducting pledge training and grinning as the pledges squirm.

 
 
 
 
Then suddenly I wake up.
 
 
 
 
I am looking at a TV monitor that has something that looks like Space Invaders on the screen. “Hi Frank!” chirps the 12 year old proctologist. “You woke up a bit early. Are you feeling any pressure?” “No Doc, I am fine”, I reply. “That’s your colon. We are almost done.” 

 
 
 
Next thing they are wheeling me into the “fart room.”  Apparently, they blow a lot of air up your wazoo whilst checking the boogie-cave-walls for gremlins. It takes a few minutes to kind of  “let the air out."

My son comes to pick me up and take me home. We get home and I offer him a glass of wine, naturally pouring one for myself. “Ah, Dad, I don’t think you should have a glass of wine tonight”, says Jack. “I am just fine”, I protest. “Well Dad, you’ve been jabbering like a Chihuahua on speed for the last 30 minutes and you’re not making a lot of sense.”  So I deferred and went with a hot green tea. We discussed world affairs for about an hour then Jack headed home.  I fell asleep on the couch about an hour later watching “Comedians in Cars Going for Coffee.” 

 
Anyway, this is all just colorful background for a sincere piece of medical advice. My procedure went well, I have no issues and I am good for 10 years until I need to go through this ordeal again. Same thing happened 10 years ago when I had my last one. As unpleasant as the prep is and as weird as the “mystic enema” is, I have to recommend that you all do this thing when your physician advises. Just don’t make the mistake I did. I was given the option to have the procedure “first thing in the morning” or “last one of the day.”  I chose “last one of the day” at 3:00 pm on Friday. Big mistake. Opt for morning. I had to split up the torturous “cleansing” process into Thursday night AND Friday morning. 
 
Let me tell you, “Red Eye” is not just the name for watered down whiskey in bad Westerns. God Bless the fine people at Preparation H.

I also was unable to eat sold food for 48 hours instead of 24 (if I went for morning). It’s Saturday night as I write this and I am eating everything in sight trying to get my strength back up. I had 3 protein shakes today and just ate half a cow (burned off on my grill and washed down with a fine Cabernet of course) and I still feel puny.

So, here are the take-aways:

Get the freakin’ procedure when your Doc says so.

Book it in the morning.

 
 
Remember to be prepared . . . .

Don’t argue with your kids. Drink green tea for one night. It won’t kill you and you won’t miss anything.





Your friend,
Buck

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THE BUCK BILLER SPORTS PAGE
By Frank J. Biller, Beta Pi Blog Sports Correspondent

Hi Larry,

You may want to post this on the blog for all of our ATO Vandy sports fanatics like me.  I watched the Vandy Boys defeat the infidels from Duke in the “Smart guys vs smart guys” season opener on SEC+ last night 9-1 behind our super new freshman class. 

 
I sent the email below to my sister who is a big sports fan so she can watch our baseball team.  Her grandson is a 14-year-old pitcher with an 85-MPH fastball who would love to play in a program like ours if he can make the grades (physical and academic).  I have to note that Derek Mason just signed his highest rated class for football and Coach Bryce Drew and Coach Stephanie White just both signed 2 5-star recruits for Basketball next year. 

The men’s team is one of the top 5 classes in the country with 2 5-stars and a 4-star.  There is one more 5-star guy out there we are trying to sign and he was in Memorial today (sitting with the other 2 5-stars) when we beat Florida.  I sure hope he gets hot-boxed and signs up.  We could be a top 10 team next year in men’s and women’s Buckets!!! 

Regards,
Buck
 
 
P.S. to you, JD, Boss and others in and around Nashville- go over and watch the Dores Baseball team.  We ARE Alabama in baseball!  Support the team and Coach Tim Corbin.  I will come down for at least one series.

P.P.S.- I have booked a room in Omaha for this summer’s College World Series.  I invite all Tics to join me and the Vandy Boys as we vie for our second National championship.
 
From: frank biller
Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2018 5:54 PM
To: Big Jerry Smith
Subject: Vanderbilt baseball this year- Please forward to Gabe I do not have his email address
 
Apparently this is not the first time Vandy has had the number one recruiting class coming in.  We had it in 2005, 2011, 2012 and 2015.  The guys that came in in 2015 are still on the team as Juniors this year!  Below is the upcoming television schedule on broadcast TV.  Most of the other games will be televised on SEC+ and available on the ESPN app on ROKU or other smart TV’s. 
 
Vanderbilt baseball has two No. 1-ranked recruiting classes on the same roster for the first time since winning the 2014 national championship.

Could that surplus of projected talent come together for a memorable season?

The answers will start to come on Friday when No. 10 Vanderbilt starts the 2018 season with a home series against Duke.

VANDERBILT BASEBALL ON TV

March 16: Vanderbilt at Mississippi State (SEC Network, "Bases Loaded" coverage)

March 23: LSU at Vanderbilt (ESPNU)

March 24: LSU at Vanderbilt (ESPNU)

March 25: LSU at Vanderbilt (ESPN2)

March 31: Vanderbilt at Florida (ESPNU)

April 1: Vanderbilt at Florida (SEC Network)

April 5: Georgia at Vanderbilt (SEC Network)

April 15: Ole Miss at Vanderbilt (ESPNU)

April 19: Vanderbilt at Missouri (ESPNU)

May 1: Louisville at Vanderbilt (SEC Network)

May 13: Vanderbilt at Tennessee (SEC Network)

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KEEPING TABS: 

Here is a reminder of the Brothers and Sisters we have lost.

BECKY BRUNING MANYAK, died October 19, 2017.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2017, No.07. Archive: Sept. 2017
Obituary:
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/washingtonpost/obituary.aspx?n=rebecca-manyak&pid=187110606

ROB BLANKENHORN, died December, 2016.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2017, No.05, (See Comment by Dick Stoner). Archive: Sept. 2017

EDWARD G. “TED” STEPHANY, died January 20, 2016.

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2016, No.01, Archive: Jan. 2016

J. NEAL CRENSHAW, died November 12, 2014.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2014, No.08, Archive: Nov. 2014
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2014, No.10, Archive: Dec. 2014

MILES WALSH, died in July, 2013.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2013, No.05, Comments Section (over 50 comments), Archive: Aug.2013

DAVID HOWE, died November 30, 2006.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2006, No.68, Archive: Dec. 2006.   
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.30, Archive: May. 2007


KURT WAGNER,  died in July, 2002.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2016, No.02, Archive: Jan. 2016

ALEXANDER WILSON, died April 9, 1977.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2006, No.25, Lowenstein Essay Contest. Archive: Aug. 2006
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2006, No.33, Honoring Alex and Laura. Archive: Sept. 2006
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2006, No.45, Tale-o-Pig-Roast. Archive: Sept. 2006
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2006, No.50, Winner Essay Contest.  Archive: Oct. 2006
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2017, No.05, Alexander Wilson. Archive: Sept. 2017


Alex and Laura are buried at the Nashville National Cemetery. The cemetery at 1420 Gallatin Pike South, Madison, TN 37115.  Alex and Laura are at Section KK,  Site 794. 

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THE ARCHIVES

If you have never explored the “Archives” in this Blog – it is toward the top of the latest “blog issue”, on the right.  You access it by clicking on the Month and Year, and it will drop down with choices.  For example, if you click on December, 2006, it will drop down and list all issues that were published that month.  If you want Issue No. 68, you click on that, and it takes you to that issue.  You can then post a comment to that issue.  It’s never too late to post a comment, right? 

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BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS:   As of February 18, 2018, there are 37 Blog Website Members; there are 130 ATO’s on the blog list, plus 22 ATO Gal-Pals.  And, there are 12 Brothers whose e-mail address is unknown. 

VTL,

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72