Monday, May 8, 2017

Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2017, No.03 – And the Winner is . . .

Beta Pi:

IS  BETA PI BLOG without any redeeming social or artistic merit?:  













YEA .   .   .   . or

 

NAY?

 
Beta Pi Blog’s purpose: to bring ATO, Beta Pi Chapter Brothers and ATO Gal-Pals together.  The blog is not to be taken seriously - it is meant for

fun. 


The Beta Pi Blog is non-political.  It includes

pictures, links, Archives of previous issues, and other time-wasters.

To get there, go to web address: http://beta-pi-blog.blogspot.com

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THE “TICK-A-LOR NICKNAMES”
ESSAY CONTEST
By Frank J. Biller, Lawrence A. Simons and Steven B. Starr

All of the entries are in.  There were 6 contestants, in alphabetical order as follows: Frank Collins, Don Engelmann, Tison Keel, Mark McGann, Chris Regas and Dick Stoner.

Because of the colorful nature of deliberations, the Blog has decided to give you unprecedented access to actual deliberations:


FOR THIRD PLACE: there was not a consensus, but a majority vote.  Third Place goes to CHRIS “THE GREEK” REGAS.   Here is the entry:

“The Heme”, by Chris Regas

"The Heme" originated when George came back from the trainer with his arm heavily wrapped....Stubbs (no explanation needed) and I asked what happened to your arm... with no context or explanation, George simply said Hematoma. We thought that was hilarious for some reason and began calling him Heme, with an occasional Hume thrown for no known reason... it just stuck.  "Greek" on the other hand is no more interesting than it being my heritage, and I used to wear a Greek fisherman's hat ... allot. We had some doozies didn't we? Rat, Cheeks, and on and on... live that you keep us connected... thanks!





Here are the deliberations:

BUCK:  Greek, you get high marks for “Brevity”.  “They called me Greek because I am Greek”.  Positively Hemingway-esque.  One of the reasons we all love you Greek is because you always give homage to the other guy.  Thanks for sharing the story about how Heme got his name. 

VINNY:  The Greek’s essay is a real winner because (1) Well, he is the Greek; (2) terrifically narrated story of the Heme’s nickname, which I’m not sure I’ve ever heard before (while sober of memory), especially Heme’s one word response “Hematoma.”

 

BOZINO:  Greek, thanks for your excellent entry, we love you brother!  Vinny, you might want to look in to “long term memory” disorders, as possibly applicable to Vinny.  The Hematoma story was previously revealed by Heme himself, and as with all of your e-mail and other messages, you probably blew it off, like you do everything, then forgot that you blew it off.  Buck reminded me the other day of the sheer joy of giving Vinny shit.  J

FOR SECOND PLACE: again there was not a consensus, but a majority vote.  Second Place goes to FRANK “MARTY” COLLINS.  Marty, your set of “Steak Knives” awaits you.  Here is the entry:

“Marty” by Frank Collins

OK, I feel compelled to tell my story. Not about Conan Petersen or Birdman Page, but they were most certainly in attendance when this happened. "Young Frankenstein" was released in December 1974. That very semester I had pledged ATO and been admitted into the palatial estate on Kensington Place. One evening, off I went quite innocently with my buds, Conrad being one of them, to see the movie at a theatre on a side street in Hillsboro Village. I was sitting towards the front of the theatre and munching on popcorn; munchies being what we had prior to any movie in those days. Not far into the movie, Igor, played by Marty Feldman, appears. As soon as he makes his entrance, from the back of the theatre calls out a voice, "It's Frank Collins!" It turns out Chris Page was sitting in the theatre as well. I don't recall if he knew I was there. I don't think I knew he was. But I knew it was him as soon as he called out those words,. They were not uttered discreetly under his breath, they were shouted out. The only people laughing were Chris, Conrad and, yes, me. I prefer the "Heme" tag, to be honest, which I inherited with great pain during the Travis Parr overtime period. Yet amongst the Tics, the Marty tag has stuck. Although adding about 50 pounds to my frame since then, I am more often mistaken for Doc Brown (Chris Lloyd) than I am Marty Feldman anymore.”



Here are the deliberations:

BUCK:  Frank, your entry is awesome, by any calculation. I love your “Stoners at the movies” story.  Marty, every time I talk to you I hear a great back story like this.  Loved the link to Cono and Bird Man.

VINNY:  I don’t recall hearing that particular movie theater story, and it is a good one.

BOZINO:  Marty, I had to object to Vinny on this one.  Your story is not merely good, it is outstanding.  Vinny, again, go see a Geriatric Specialist, if you can remember to put it on your busy calendar.  J 

FOR FIRST PLACE: Here your Judges had a consensus.  First Place goes to MARK “MARLON” McGANN.  Marlon, if you show, you will be awarded your prize:
 
Dinner on the Three Stooges at Rotier’s Restaurant - at the next Reunion (for you and your spouse/significant other, no limit to how much beer you can drink, spouse/significant other limited to one Long-neck).


Here is the winning entry:

“Marlon” by Mark McGann

“Our composites were done by Vantine Studios (now Vantine Imaging) of Hamilton, NY. In 1937, Edward Vantine Sr. left Boston and headed towards Syracuse, NY in search of a fresh start.  Taking a wrong turn, he ended up at the Colgate Inn in Hamilton, NY.  A photographer by trade, Edward started taking pictures of the fraternity brothers at Colgate University and developing his film in the bathtub.  Hamilton soon became Edward Vantine Sr.'s home and his dream a reality when he founded Edward Vantine Studios, the first Collegiate Composite Photography Company servicing fraternities and sororities.  They are still in the business today.

My senior year, when it came time to have our pictures done, as a goof and kind of what the hell, on the card you were given to fill out, for name, I put Marlon Brando.  As I heard from others later, when the photographer came back to get final approval on the proofs, he discreetly asked some lay abouts on the couch who is this Marlon Brando and showed them my picture. They all replied with something like, oh, that’s Marlon.  I’m guessing that Vantine, no doubt faced with many fictional names over the years and in the interest of protecting their integrity, always tried to insure accuracy.  My nickname graced that year’s composite.”

Here are the deliberations:



BUCK:  I give Mark top marks for Historical Detail and Perspective.  I always fondly remembered you for calling people “Huevos” all the time. I never realized what a smart and interesting MOFO you were until the night we tried to see how many martini’s we could drink before we passed out in DC a few years back.

VINNY:  Marlon gets highest marks because (1) Good backstory with some historical overtones-shows Vanderbilt research training still alive and kicking; (2) The story of his nickname being on the ATO composite has serious reverberations to my own forays into that genre, with my ATO composite pictures during my Law School years being captioned with “Phineas J. Whipsnade” and then “Ezekiel Floose”; (3) Love the addendum with the Keith Daniels swear word etymology and the up to now forgotten “Wuss”.  Kudos.

BOZINO:  Marlon, your entry is tops for me because it best exemplifies the ATO “spirit.”  The back and forth between the brothers. The hint of sarcasm. Well done old friend.

OTHER “HONORABLE MENTION” COMMENTS:




BUCK:  Don Engelmann’s entry gets an award for “Nebulosity”.  We still love that hair Funkman.  Please note that in accordance with Funky’s signature he is heretofore to be referred to as SENIOR VP Funky…  Example  Please come to reunion Senior VP Funky…


BOZINO:  Buck, I agree, we need a FUNKY APPEARANCE!  Don, you simply must come and join us, we miss you bro’.







BUCK:  Dick Stoner’s entry gets the Honorable Mention Award.  “Implicated himself in nefarious homoerotic activity story”.  “I roomed with Bum-Jam when he got his nickname”???? 
Honorable mention for “Born with a Cohen brothers screenplay name”.  That title is held in perpetuity by Rod Yanker.

BOZINO:  I for one am looking forward to Stoner’s appearance, so I can hear the inside story of how Randy Martin got his nick name.  The only thing that could improve that would be for Randy himself to show up.




BUCK:  Tison Keel, Evasiveness Award.  Evasive answer to the question.  [edited for political content] would have been proud.  Unless I missed something, Too Tall never mentioned the origins of that name.  Great remembrances though of Miriam Staples, Furr and other solid nick name sub-references.




VINNY: I will be happy to join the other two stooges at Jimmy Kelly’s and/or Rotier’s with any and all contest entrants and or named contest references at our upcoming reunion, which happily this year does not conflict with my wedding anniversary!

BOZINO:  Thanks to Honorable Stooge Judges Frank Biller and Steven Starr, without whom there would be no Stooges. 

BUCK:   Thanks to all the entrants, the judges, the academy and the Rules and Regulations Enforcement team from the ABA for setting down the rules of the contest.  I will be at Homecoming/Reunion weekend every year.  Whichever of you mugs shows up Thursday night will get a free steak dinner at Jimmy Kelly’s whenever you show up.  I am also throwing Heme in because I love Heme and his nick name story is the greatest. 

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FROM BLOG CORRESPONDENT KINGSLEY KAMINER

I received this article, and awesome picture from the great Kingsley Kaminer, Beta Pi Blog Correspondent and ATO Gal Pal Extraordinaire.

“Purging, trashing, recycling, donating and recently came across old photos of which this is one. ATO house. Proof positive that women - the great Dr. Becky Denham here - were breaking through a formidable glass ceiling in the 70's and playing WT and not just fetching. Enjoy.”


Thanks Kingsley, you are awesome!  I hope to see you next Reunion.

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KEEPING TABS: 

Here is a reminder of the Brothers we have lost.

EDWARD G. “TED” STEPHANY, died January 20, 2016.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2016, No.01, Archive: Jan. 2016

J. NEAL CRENSHAW, died November 12, 2014.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2014, No.08, Archive: Nov. 2014
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2014, No.10, Archive: Dec. 2014

MILES WALSH, died in July, 2013.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2013, No.05, Comments Section (over 50 comments), Archive: Aug.2013

DAVID HOWE, died November 30, 2006.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2006, No.68, Archive: December, 2006.   
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2007, No.30, Archive: May, 2007

KURT WAGNER,  died in July, 2002.
Beta Pi Blog, Vol.2016, No.02, Archive: Jan. 2016

ALEXANDER WILSON, died in 1977.

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THE ARCHIVES

If you have never explored the “Archives” in this Blog – it is toward the top of the latest “blog issue”, on the right.  You access it by clicking on the Month and Year, and it will drop down with choices.  For example, if you click on December, 2006, it will drop down and list all issues that were published that month.  If you want Issue No. 68, you click on that, and it takes you to that issue.  You can then post a comment to that issue.  It’s never too late to post a comment, right? 

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BETA PI BLOG ROSTER STATS:   As of May 8, 2017, there are 37 Blog Website Members; there are 118 ATO’s on the blog list, plus 19 ATO Gal-Pals.  And, there are 6 Brothers who do not have e-mail. 

VTL,









Larry Simons
Beta Pi, 72